panicking. I went to Kathy’s and Eric was there and they said I should talk to Rob because of his history. I only did it out of my concern and worry. It wasn’t to gang up on you. I was just scared.”
“I know you were.” That’s all he said and his soft, kind tone made her glance at him. He reached forward. “I don’t think I realized how much it scared you until I saw Rob at my door.”
She flushed. “I’m really sorry. I just thought he’d know what to say.”
“He brought up some strong points. I think on a gut level, I knew it wasn’t right to drink the way I do. I didn’t see the stark warnings that Rob pointed out.”
“You so easily took his advice. You didn’t mind him butting in?”
“I completely minded.” His mouth twisted up. “We had a bit of a standoff to start. But he was good at it. It didn’t take him long to get me to be honest. He captured my interest with a few pointed questions. Why did I hide it? I never had any reason except my gut instinct told me to.”
“I hoped you’d see that wasn’t normal.”
His face turned a slight shade of pink as he glanced away. Embarrassed? Oh, yes, he was. She was surprised. “He blew me away when he knew I still had some bottles hidden in the apartment.”
“Oh.” Her heart dipped. “A lot more?”
“Enough. It’s weird to hoard so much, considering I don’t drink every day. Or every weekend even. It’s not like I have a drink after dinner every night either. That would be more normal and less of a red flag. I see that now. What you saw right off the bat.”
“I did.”
She threw the pillow and wrapped her arms around her calves as she hugged her knees to her.
“Can you accept that? You know a lot about alcoholism after living with Rob. I can’t guarantee anything. But I promise to take my behavior as a warning sign of being an alcoholic. I’m going to stop. The whole intention and impact thing. I intend to take it very seriously. I believe you and Rob saying that I have a problem. Are you ready to take a chance to be with someone who already shows all the signs and behaviors?”
“Yes, I’ve thought about it at length. I decided to base my decision on how you took Rob’s interference. If you denied it and got angry, I figured we were done. But if you didn’t and you came over here as you did now, I… yes. I’m willing to accept you. But I won’t accept you if that behavior returns. I will bitch and moan and nag at you. I will never accept it or shut up about it. I’ll be on the watch all the time and monitor you. So you’ll have to deal with me twenty-four/seven. Can you accept that?”
He sniffed and rolled his eyes. “I can’t imagine it.”
She leaned forward and pretended to punch him. He laughed out loud, a rare, unexpected sound that made her laugh with him. It relieved most of the pressure. He leaned forward and placed her hand in his. She was surprised when he took the initiative and his expression sobered as he nodded. “I can. I will accept it.”
“And admitting to the people of your congregation that you’re dating me? Are you going to do that too?”
“Yes, I am.”
She squinted her eyes, disbelieving him. “I don’t believe you.”
“What do you want me to do? Take out an ad in the church circular? I would. Pastor Jim would like to proclaim to the world, and this church in particular, that he is officially… what shall we call it? Screwing? Balling? Making love? I’ll let you choose… officially doing one Kayla Randall, my former fiancée’s sister.”
“You’re being a jerk.”
“I’m being funny.” He grinned.
Kayla was puzzled by his new… what? Demeanor? Ease? Humor? She gave him a dirty look. “Since when are you funny? You’re not exactly known for being that.”
“Maybe I need to lighten up.”
She scoffed. Taking her hand back and pretending to scold him, she added, “I told you that a long time ago. The first time I met you, in fact.”
He sighed. “To be honest? Life always felt too, I don’t know… heavy. And alone. Like if I let my guard down everything would crumble to ashes. My life was as fragile as a house built of cards. The slightest breeze could ruin it all. Destroy