and I was dying to see her. I walked down the street to her mom’s house. Her parents’ had divorced when we were in the fifth grade, but her mom never remarried.
I knocked on the door, nervous and excited at the same time to reconnect with her and was joyfully greeted by her mom, who welcomed me in. “Avery, its so good to see you, dear! It’s been way too long,”
“Hi Ms. Andrews. It’s good to see you, too. Is Cara back yet?” I asked looking around.
“Oh no, dear. Cara isn’t coming home this year. She and her fiancé are going to his parents’ house for the holiday.”
I stood in stunned silence. Cara was engaged? She never even told me she was dating anyone. “Wow, I didn’t realize she was engaged. Did it happen recently?” I asked trying not to sound as out of the loop as I was.
“He did it at Thanksgiving. They came here to spend it with me, and he asked her in front of all of us. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen.”
I couldn’t believe it. Had we really grown that far apart? I said my goodbyes to Cara’s mom, and slowly walked home. Telling her my secret had changed everything. She tried to be there for me, and I obviously couldn’t handle her knowing. I had succeeded in pushing her away, the one person who ever held me accountable for my actions. I felt the weight of the loss on my shoulders—knowing deep down it was all my fault.
I got back to my house, and it was as if the school conversation had never even come up. My mom was back to being pleasant, and my dad was fully engaged in his paper. I put a smile on my face to match and pretended right alongside them for the rest of the week.
“Lord, your Word holds truth as does your promise to always be near us and guide us, even when we aren’t able to see the light in front of us...”
16. JUST ONE NIGHT
I saw the sign to Winsor and could almost feel the tension start to ease in my body. I had never been so happy to be back. Six days at my parents’ house was about five days too long, I decided, even though I spent most of that time working at the diner or exercising with my mom. I wanted to just get somewhere where I could let my defenses down for one minute and relax.
The sun was setting, and my eyes were starting to feel the effects of the exhausting drive. The only positive of it all was that I could crawl into bed, go to sleep, and Parker would be back in the morning. I smiled as I thought of him; he was the only thing about my week that was good. He called every night and we talked for hours before drifting off to sleep. In fact, I had managed to survive my parent’s house all week without an episode, and I knew he was the reason. My stomach fluttered as I thought of seeing him in less than twenty-four hours.
I lugged my suitcase up the stairs and then ran back down to the car to get my new dress. I felt the silky fabric under my fingers and smiled. Carefully putting it back under the protective cover, I headed back up the stairs. When I got there, I noticed my suitcase was gone and the door to my apartment was open. I peeked in and saw Issy and Jake dressed and ready for a night out.
They had put my suitcase in my room and Issy practically tackled me when I got in the door. I pushed her aside, trying to protect my dress and put it carefully in my closet. I didn’t make eye contact with Jake and basically sidestepped him when he came in for a hug. It just seemed ridiculous that after all this time he could still make me swoon with just one smile, and I was just too physically and mentally tired from being with my parents all week to deal with him. I took a stabilizing breath and returned to the living room, convincing myself that I only had to pretend for one more hour, and they would be gone.
I found a spot on the lip loveseat, the furthest point from where Jake was seated and asked how their Christmas was.
“Fabulous!” Issy beamed. “I got everything on my list, including