It was mind numbing and tedious. A chemical engineering emphasis was definitely out of the question I assured myself. Then the sadness hit. Why would I even think about a specialty? I may not even have a scholarship next year! Tears bombarded my eyes again, and I wiped them clean with my sleeve. I was starting to detest my tears. They came and went at will—never caring whether the time was appropriate or not.
I finished up the tests and made sure to put all the samples back in the refrigerator, checking all the instructions twice to make sure I didn’t forget anything. I signed out in the log and headed home, dreading it. How had it only been four months since my first day when everything looked so promising?
I pulled out my phone as I walked, knowing I had to make this phone call, but dreading every second of it. I hadn’t told my parents I wasn’t coming home for Thanksgiving yet, and while they probably wouldn’t care, I knew my mom would use this opportunity to pry. The phone was ringing and I took a deep breath to control my nerves.
“Hello?” My mom answered in her usual sweet tone.
“Hi Mom. How are you?” I asked trying to keep my voice as steady as I could.
“I’m good, Avery. How are you? Are you heading our way tomorrow?”
“Actually mom, that’s what I was calling about. I’m not going to make it home this year. I have a lot of studying to do, and I volunteered to help out with some lab testing over the break.” It wasn’t totally a lie.
“Oh, ok dear. So where are you going for Thanksgiving?” she asked concerned.
“Um, the campus has a big dinner they put on. I’ll be fine.” That was a lie.
“Well, just remember that Thanksgiving isn’t a license to let yourself go. You don’t want that college fifteen to sneak up on you. Have you still been running?”
I rolled my eyes, wondering how my mom could always take any conversation back to my eating habits. I felt my stomach start to fill with anxiety and willed myself to calm down. “Yes, I’ve been running faithfully every day, and my diet is perfect.” Another lie.
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.”
We continued our conversation a little while longer, with her doing most of the talking. She told me all about the latest fad diet her and my sister were doing and promised to send me all the information she had on it. I feigned interest, but felt more and more stressed the whole time I talked to her. Finally, after I had remained on the phone an appropriate amount of time, I told her I had to go.
“Well, we’ll miss you,” she finally said after asking one more time if I was sure I couldn’t make it home.
“You too, Mom. I’ll talk to you later.”
We said our goodbyes, and I hung up the phone, feeling more beat down than I had in two days. I looked around me, trying to find anything that would bring me peace.
The sun was starting to set and the sky was amazing, full of reds and oranges as if the sun was streaking across the clouds in a wonderful dance. I found my bench (the one from that fateful night) and just stared up at the sky, hoping to find that same spark I had felt there just two days ago.
The bench moved slightly, and I peeked up to see a familiar face looking at me. “We really should stop meeting like this,” he offered, his eyebrow shooting up.
I immediately turned red, knowing the last time he saw me I was on the verge of a complete emotional breakdown.
“You must think I’m crazy,” I stated, facing him. He was actually really cute, a thing I had no ability to process the first time I saw him. He had sandy blond hair that was cut pretty short and dark blue eyes. I assumed he was a student here because he was dressed pretty simply in a t-shirt and jeans. Normally, I would feel uncomfortable in this situation, but the smile that moved across his lips was so genuine and honest, I immediately relaxed.
“Nah, we’ve all had our moments. I mean, I’ve actually seen people start banging their head against the wall during finals week.” He was trying to make me feel better, which was sweet of him.
“Thanks.”
“I’m Parker. My first name, not my last. It confuses people sometimes. It was my mom’s