car, Issy? I’ll take you back to it.” Jake was trying to hurry us as if he had somewhere to be…or someone to be with.
“Actually Jake, you and I need to plan our Thanksgiving meal. Mom promised to let me pick all the dishes this year, and I need your input.” Issy had threaded her arm though his and was pulling him out the door. “You two go ahead and keep talking, we’ll meet you back here in a little while.” And like a puff of smoke, they were gone. I didn’t know whether to feel nervous or excited about being left alone with Parker. Honestly, it just felt nerve wracking, like I was on a first date or something.
Parker was chuckling and turned back to me. “Issy is amazing.”
“She’s something, all right. You just never know what to expect next.” I was shaking my head, but my voice held nothing but affection for my quirky roommate.
“There’s a coffee shop on the river if you want to go. They have the whole area lit up this time of year for Christmas and it’s a really beautiful walk.”
“I’d love that,” I answered, eager to get outside where the fresh air could wipe away all my confusion. I texted Issy the new plan and let Parker guide me out the door.
The walk was every bit as he described. Trees were lined with white lights, each placed in perfect equal distance from the other. The walls along the river had swooping white lights coming together at wreaths made of red lights. The air was crisp, a perfect fall night that made you wear a jacket and scarf, but didn’t chill you to the bone.
Parker was giving me the background of the city and why they started doing the Christmas lights each year.
“You like to look beyond the obvious, don’t you?” I asked as we were walking.
Parker looked at me questionably as if to say he didn’t understand.
“You never take anything at face value,” I continued. “You always seem to have a story that goes along with it, whether it be Sheila in the library or even just a walkway by the river. Even me. I was a wreck when you saw me, on the edge of a complete meltdown, but you act like it never even happened.” I was looking down at my feet as I walked and felt him stop and turn me to face him, taking my hands in his.
“Avery, you weren’t wrecked when I saw you, and your story doesn’t define you.”
I shook my head. “I still can’t understand why you would even want to talk to me after seeing that.”
“What I saw that day was a girl who was broken and raw. A girl who wasn’t afraid to examine her life and figure out how to move forward. I sat there watching you and couldn’t take my eyes off you. The anguish was real, and I just wanted you to know someone cared.”
“That’s so pathetic,” I scoffed, angry at myself for being so transparent.
“No, its not; it’s remarkable. Do you have any idea how many people never get to that point? How many go through life never stopping to realize that they’ve fallen? Avery, those people can never get up. You can.” He was intently looking at me, almost pleading with me to believe him.
“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,” he finally said when I continued to look away from him. “That night I saw you watching the sunset, it was like a ray of sunlight had descended. You looked so beautiful sitting there, waiting, anticipating an answer from the sky. There was a hopefulness that drew me to you—a glimpse that something great is happening within you.”
He moved in closer to me and I turned my head to watch him carefully, not knowing what he was going to do or even if I wanted him to. I felt so confused. So struck by the difference of how I felt with Parker versus Jake. He pulled my hands up to his face and lightly kissed my fingers. It was soft and lingering, and warmed me to the core.
“Don’t sell yourself short, ok?” He was still searching my eyes. I nodded and smiled weakly at him. He turned to continue walking, but kept his hand securely in mine, lacing our fingers together.
Jake and Issy were already at the coffee shop waiting when we got there. I quickly took my hand out of Parker’s before we walked over