to their table. If it bothered him, I couldn’t tell. He just said cheerful goodbyes to everyone and then turned to leave, giving me one last smile on his way out the door. I sat down at the table, and Issy got up to get a refill.
“What are you doing?” Jake asked, scooting himself over so we could whisper.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean having Issy call me over just to parade another guy in front of me.”
I was horrified at his implication, “Jake, I had no idea Issy would call, and I certainly wouldn’t have let her if she had asked. You and I both know Issy does whatever she wants to.”
“And the guy?”
“Seriously? Are we living in two different realms of reality? You are sleeping with someone else. I don’t owe you any explanation.” I knew my tone was cold and accusatory, but I didn’t care.
“For the record, I am not sleeping with her. You judge things too quickly, Avery. I never said I didn’t care about you, just that I needed some space. I didn’t see that as a license for you to go hook up with a new guy.” He sounded furious at me, which only added to my confusion.
“I’m not hooking up. We just met, and it’s nothing more than friendship at this point, anyway,” I explained, suddenly feeling very defeated.
“Avery, that guy doesn’t want to just be your friend.” His eyes were like daggers, reaching the very core of my heart, and he had grabbed my arm sometime during the exchange. I was sure people around us could feel the heat we were generating, and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable this close to him.
“Why do you even care?” I asked as I pulled my arm away. He didn’t answer and I was weary from our staring contest. I got up to leave, not saying another word to him. He stormed away from the table and out the door, leaving me to do nothing but wonder how it was possible to send so many mixed signals.
Issy was uncharacteristically quiet on the way home. I tried to think like Parker would and see what was behind the surface, but came up blank. Issy was impossible to read.
“Is everything ok?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she sighed. “Jake and I just got into a fight again. He’s so controlling; it makes me crazy.” After another second of silence, she added, “Boy, Parker really knocked him for a loop. I’ve never seen him so agitated.” She giggled to herself, pleased to be the culprit who was responsible. “At the coffee shop, he kept looking at his watch, asking me how long it takes to go just three blocks.”
“Why did you even invite him?” I asked quietly.
Issy seemed surprised that I didn’t understand. “I thought you’d enjoy showing him that you had moved on.”
I sat there quietly; my head was beginning to pound.
“So do you like him?” she asked.
“Who?”
“Parker! My goodness, Avery, the guy you spent the evening with!”
“Yes, of course I like him, he’s possibly the greatest guy I’ve ever met. I just don’t think I’m ready for him right now. I’m too messed up.”
“No one’s ever too messed up for a cute guy, Avery, especially one that looks at you the way he does. I like him! If you don’t act soon…I may just have to jump in.”
I shot her a warning glance and she smiled, knowing she’d caught me. Issy was a master at getting people to spill their secrets and innermost thoughts. I sat quietly rubbing my temples, ready to be home, ready to make sense of this incredibly complicated evening.
I got to my room and locked the door. Being alone wasn’t helping; I just kept replaying all the scenes over and over in my mind. Jake rubbing my leg, Parker kissing my fingers, Jake acting like he cared or worse—like he was jealous.
I felt that feeling in my stomach again, and I started pacing. I had gone three days. That’s a long time. I didn’t want to mess it up. I didn’t want to do this. Besides, Issy was in her room and she had heard me the last time. I couldn’t do it.
I felt slightly resolved and sat on my bed, taking deliberate breaths to calm myself down. I was clutching my comforter and willing my mind to behave, but it refused. Thoughts bombarded me, thoughts of the dorm and how easy it had been to keep my secret. Memories of how I would hide in my