hers and
which was his. She didn’t let herself wonder about what would have
happened if they’d never found the list, or let herself wish for anything 294 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES
else, not now, not in public—since when those trains of thought took
over it always ended with her in a crumpled heap, trying not to cry into her bedding. This was enough for now, this at-ease sadness. A cliché,
maybe, to let someone go because you loved them. It hurt, but it was
better than any of the alternatives.
Dave deserved happiness, even if it wasn’t with her. This wasn’t a
case of letting the thing you love go and hoping it returns to you. Dave wasn’t some winged thing, Julia wasn’t a perch.
She folded the sheet of paper back up, tapped it meaningfully
against her thigh a couple of times, then leaned over and slipped it
into a cup holder a couple seats away. She took the hot sauce bottle out of her bag and shook a few squirts out onto the first layer of popcorn.
Then she propped her feet up on the seat in front of her and waited for
the lights to dim, trying and failing to pace herself on how quickly she reached for more popcorn.
Since she was so close up, she couldn’t see all the people who had
come in and filled up the theater. A few people had ventured down
to her row, but everything in front of her was clear. The audience
murmured with a hundred different conversations. Out of the corner
of her eye she could see someone coming down the aisle toward her
and she lowered her feet in case they needed to pass. But the guy took
a seat right next to her.
Julia turned to look at him and saw that it was Brett. He kept his
eyes on the screen and reached over for some popcorn casually, jerking
it back when he felt the wetness of the hot sauce.
“What the hell?” He examined his fingers.
DAVE & JULIA 295
“Hi, Brett.”
Brett sniffed at his fingers. “Is that hot sauce?”
“Indeed it is.”
“Weird.” He reached over again and grabbed more cautiously.
“What are you doing here?”
“My friends brought their girlfriends, so instead of fifth-wheeling it
I’m gonna sit next to you, if that’s okay. I spotted you from back there.”
He motioned vaguely behind him. “Your hair makes it easy.”
“No, I mean, what are you doing watching this movie? It’s based on
a book. No explosions. No boobs that I’m aware of.”
“Don’t be naive, all these artsy flicks have boobs in ’em.” He smiled
through a mouthful of popcorn and reached over for some more. “Just
kidding. I’ve been looking forward to this movie for a while. Didn’t
read the book, but I’m a fan of the director. Hey, I like this popcorn–
hot sauce thing.”
“Yeah, me too.”
The theater turned dark and the chatter quieted to a murmur. Brett
leaned in to Julia, close enough that she could smell something fruity
on his breath. “You don’t mind if I sit with you?” he whispered.
“It depends. Do you talk during movies?”
“All the time. It’s my favorite thing to do.”
Julia shoved him away with her elbow. “If you finish my popcorn,
I’ll kill you.”
“Or I can go get us a refill. I’ve got one of those rewards cards, so I
get ’em for free.”
296 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES
“Look at you, moving up in the world.”
Brett grabbed a piece of popcorn and tossed it at Julia. Then they
quieted to watch the previews.
After the movie, they walked out together, Julia taking one last
quick glance at the corner of notebook paper sticking out of a cup
holder in the third row. Julia thought about her mom—how Julia had,
in many ways, done the list for her mom’s sake, and how little that
would mean to her mom.
They didn’t say anything for a bit, following the slow-moving mass
of people making their way outside. A few people rushed to their cars;
some stood around discussing the movie, making plans for dinner or
drinks. The night was absolutely lovely, and Julia thought she might go
get a cup of coffee, sit outside somewhere with a book, leave her phone
in the car all night.
“I’m sorry about you and Dave,” Brett said. He had his hands in his
back pockets and was looking sheepishly around.
Julia laughed. “It’s not really your fault.”
“I know. But maybe I can make it up to you?”
“It’s okay,” Julia said. “You don’t have to do anything. You kept me
company during the movie; that’s more than enough.”
Brett’s friends came out of the theater and called him over, and he
said he’d be with them in a second.
“I’m parked this way,” Julia said, pointing down the block.
“I’ll walk you,” Brett