on this unusually gray day.
Though he was certainly happy, the problem was that Dave’s
relaxed pose melted away almost as soon as he’d settled into it. His
hands would go to his phone to see if she had canceled. He’d hunch
over and look at his feet nervously, check his shirt for stains.
This was a date. Maybe. His first ever, and in a place that he
associated with Julia. It was her he usually looked for from this spot,
those blue eyes across the distance, her bare feet. But today Julia was
on her way to a wedding with her dads, and Dave was looking for
Gretchen’s blond waves and scuffed sneakers. Once that thought
crossed his mind, he’d lean back into the bench, take a deep breath,
put on a slight smile, only to have it quickly fall away again, his hand going to the back of his neck, or wiping at his forehead, the sweat
dripping freely now that he had no hair. If anyone was watching,
they’d probably think he was schizophrenic. Having dreamed all his
life of romantic love did not make him any good at first dates.
She showed up a couple of minutes later, coming up from behind
him and tapping him on the shoulder. He rose up quickly with a
nervous “Oh, heya” that he’d be cringing about for at least several
nights, if not the rest of his life. He’d wondered about adding a hug
or a kiss on the cheek or a handshake, and when it came time to do
it, he did one of those weird side hugs that his socially anxious uncle
always gave him.
Gretchen took it in stride, smiling when they parted. She was
wearing a red shirt with white polka dots and a tan sweater over it,
the buttons undone. “You look nice,” he said, because once Julia had
mentioned offhand that he should always say it on a date.
“Thanks,” she said. “You do, too.” She reached out and touched the
hem of his shirt, a baby-blue button-down that he’d borrowed from
his dad. “I like this shirt.”
Dave rubbed the back of his neck. Shit, he hadn’t thought about
what to say from there. He hadn’t ever actually said something like
that directly to a girl, and he certainly never heard a looks-related
compliment directed his way, except from aunts and the school
librarian, who said it to everyone. They both stood by the bench,
sheepishly smiling.
“So, this is it, huh? Your favorite bench in the world?”
“This is it,” Dave said, looking down at it. “I come here at least
twice a week.”
“What makes it your favorite?”
DAVE 113
“It reminds me of my mom,” he said. “We used to come here
when I was little, eating ice cream and people watching.” He looked
around the harbor, which wasn’t as busy as it usually was on Fridays.
There were a few fishermen coming back from the pier, their iceboxes
dripping pink fluid. A couple of homeless guys were on the bench
across the way, drinking from paper bags. One of them was reading
a newspaper, the other scratched his beard in between sips. When
Dave first started hanging out at the harbor on his own, in between
missing his mom and falling in love with Julia, he’d get the homeless
guys cups of water and sit with them, figuring they were probably just
as lonely as he was. “Plus, it’s so comfortable, I’m pretty sure it’s made from angel feathers and the love of a thousand puppies.”
“Oh man, puppy love is hard to get ahold of these days,” Gretchen
said, again unable to hide a smile. She handed Dave the purse she’d
brought with her and then slowly sank onto the bench. It was curious
how much he wanted her to find the bench comfortable, as if her not
seeing the beauty of this spot might diminish the bench’s value, or hers.
But then she smiled and said, “I think I feel a golden retriever,” and
stayed where she was, even lying back into the position that Dave had
imagined for himself, her hands folded across her stomach, her feet
out and crossed at the ankles. She looked out at the harbor slightly
nodding to herself, looking perfectly content.
“What do you want from the coffee shop? I’ll go get us a drink.”
“I’ll come with,” Gretchen said, starting to rise.
“You sure? You look too comfortable,” Dave said. “You’ll save us
our spot; I’ll come back in a sec.”
114 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES
The sun peeked through from a break in the clouds, causing
Gretchen to squint up at him, her hair turning completely golden in
the light. “There aren’t a lot of people around,” she said, getting up
completely and grabbing her purse from Dave. “I’ll come with. We
just barely said hi; I don’t wanna