new we-actually-hang-out-with-other-people thing. It’s
not like you. What happened to thinking you’re better than everybody
else?”
“We never thought we were better than anyone,” Julia said with a
sigh, like she’d tried to explain this to him dozens of times before. “Like you said, we’re just coming out of our shells a little bit. Just because we did different things than other people didn’t mean we thought we were
better than anyone.”
“Sure,” Brett said. “Now you’re just slummin’ it with us common
folk for a while to see what it’s like.”
Julia blushed. “Don’t go back to being mean.”
“You mean calling you on your shit?”
“That’s exactly what I mean,” Julia said, smiling.
They were in Julia’s backyard, the three kegs set strategically in
three different corners to spread out the crowd. Dave was lounging
in the grass, trying to get a nap in before the party started. He hadn’t been sleeping all week. Every time he was about to nod off, the
thought of not kissing Gretchen popped in his head, as insistent as a
mosquito buzzing past his ear. He’d texted Gretchen the next morning
about what a great time he’d had, and they still sat together in Chem
when they could, and walked in the halls together whenever he wasn’t
walking with Julia. But he hadn’t touched her since Tuesday night,
hadn’t even brushed her knee with his. The lack of a kiss lingered like
a sore muscle.
It was a hot day. Dave looked up at the clouds and watched the
smallest white wisps evaporate before his eyes, little by little. His lower back was sweaty, his T-shirt sticking to him and making the grass
beneath him itchy. His cell phone was resting on his stomach. He felt
like a failure, like someone who would never experience love because
he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. A mopey thought,
sure, but it felt true.
“Dave, come help me get stuff ready inside. I need to hide all the
dads’ valuables.”
“But I’m sleepy,” Dave said, trying to sink further into the grass. “I’ll need all my energy to schmooze with the crowd tonight.”
“You’ve been a zombie all week,” Julia said, handing Brett the
money for the kegs. “Fine, sleep. But I’m waking you up an hour before
the party so we can have you fitted for your prom king sash and tiara.”
“You know so little about prom,” Brett said, taking a seat on the
patio furniture and pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket.
150 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES
“You know so little about humor,” Julia said grabbing his cigarette
and tossing it in the bushes. “And that’s gross.”
“You’re gonna have so much more gross than that to clean up.”
Julia sighed and called Brett a jerk, then the two of them disappeared
into the house, teasing each other. Dave still had the urge to watch her leave. He checked his cell phone, as if a message might show up at any
moment that could change everything for him, Gretchen telling him she
was going to take matters into her own hands. Or maybe something
from his dad, some little nugget of wisdom he’d kept to himself until
now, knowing Dave needed it. But his phone showed nothing but the
time, and Dave set it back down on his stomach, not surprised.
At seven Julia walked over to Dave and squatted by him, flicking the
tip of his nose. “I’m awake,” he said.
“Yes. And I am flicking your nose. Shall we continue to update one
another on our activities?”
“As long as you promise to exclude any Marroney-related updates,”
Dave said, taking off the sunglasses he’d been wearing.
“Deal,” she said. “I’m gonna go shower. I left out a towel for you in
case you want to use the dads’ bathroom to shower, too.” She flicked
his nose again. “You ready to celebrate your unlikeliest of victories?”
“I was conceived ready.”
She stood up and looked around the yard as if assessing it, then
turned toward the house. “If anyone shows up while I’m upstairs, tell
them they’re unfashionably early and then mock them until they feel
ostracized.”
DAVE 151
“Will do,” Dave said.
The sky was starting to darken into purple, the few clouds that had
survived the heat of the afternoon took on shades of gold. Dave stayed
on the grass, watching the sky, unable to muster the inertia to move
until night had finally settled in. He tried not to think about Gretchen but that inertia was hard to overcome, too, so he went into the house
and changed into the shirt he’d brought with him for the party.
Julia had hung a banner in the kitchen that read, IN HONOR OF THE
GREAT AND VENERABLE POTENTIAL PROM KING, DAVE “THAT’S NOT MY
NAME” GUTIERREZ. Cans of beer were strategically placed throughout
the house for drunk