work up to that.
Tonight we’ll just make out and cuddle.” She poked his stomach, then
took off her hoodie, revealing a gray tank top with a band logo on it.
And, of course, she looked fantastic, and of course, at that same moment his phone buzzed in his pocket, undoubtedly a text from Gretchen.
They got out of the car and walked up the driveway to the front
door, Dave crinkling the foil on the cupcakes because crinkling foil was DAVE 133
something small and simple to focus on as opposed to the turmoil of
his contradicting desires. Julia had a bounce to her step as they reached the door, and she took a deep breath before ringing the bell. “You think I should have attached some sort of letter? Something cute?”
Dave shrugged. “I think if he doesn’t get the picture by now, a love
letter won’t help.” He thought about the love letter he’d written Julia
sophomore year, how he’d thought that he couldn’t handle it anymore.
The fever with which he’d written the letter. How he didn’t have the
heart to reread it for fear he’d never be happy enough with the words
and what they conveyed. He’d carried it around in his backpack for
weeks, each day convinced that this was it, this was the day he finally
came clean, so nervous he couldn’t eat all day, his palms actually
sweating, his hands shaking when taking notes in class. Every day he
decided against it, or rather wasn’t able to reach into the pocket in his backpack and hand it over to her, unable to imagine standing there as
she read it, equally unable to imagine walking away before she could.
The fear that it would irrevocably change things overruled anything
else. He’d moved it to a drawer in his bedroom, then hidden it in the
pocket of a jacket he never wore, then finally torn it into unreadable bits and let them flutter into the trash can thinking, Let that be the end of it.
Julia walked over to the window and put her face up to the glass,
cupping her hands to block out the reflection. “I don’t see any lights
on,” she said, then rang the doorbell again. About a minute later,
when they were still standing outside and Dave was about to suggest
heading back to the car, Julia started walking around the house.
134 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES
“I don’t like where this is going,” Dave said when Julia tried to push
open the window she’d glanced into.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to break a window. I’ll only enter if
there’s one open.” She crept past some rosemary bushes and turned
the corner of the house.
“Jules—” Dave started to call out to her that this was not okay,
but thought better of attracting attention by being loud. He followed
behind her, just as she was lifting the kitchen window open.
“Success!” she whisper-yelled.
“Julia, don’t you think you’re overdoing the crazy? Just a bit?”
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” she said, hoisting
herself up on the windowsill, the blinds that were half-drawn bumping
into her head. “We’re just delivering these, and we’re exceptionally
committed to that task. If UPS did the same thing people would be
thrilled.”
“Thrilled to call the cops, maybe.”
Julia stopped halfway through her climb and shot Dave a look over
her shoulder that was at once challenging and kind, and so cute it
might just haunt him for the rest of his life. “David Foster Wallace.
If you’re feeling nervous about getting arrested, all you have to do is
stand by the window and pass me the cupcakes. I promise I will still
love you as only a best friend can.”
Dave crinkled the tinfoil, then walked over to the window as she
continued to climb into Marroney’s kitchen. “That’s never been in
question,” he said, managing a smile.
DAVE 135
CHEMISTRY
THE NEXT DAY, having miraculously avoided getting caught and/
or arrested, Dave was sitting in AP Chem class, sneaking glances at
Gretchen. She was sitting across the room, since Mr. Kahn had split
them up into groups for the last lab of the year before they focused
entirely on studying for the final. Dave had been grouped together
with Doh Young, the smartest kid in class, who would have a much
higher GPA than a 4.0 if only the administration was smart enough
to figure out how to give him the grade he deserved, and so Dave
allowed his mind to wander, knowing that an A was pretty much
guaranteed. He allowed his eyes to wander, too, not just to Gretchen’s
pretty face, but to her little in-class habits that he’d only recently
started paying attention to.
He was starting to remember her outfits, how she looked so great
when wearing her hair a certain way, sexy in