and, like the sun they’d watched just a few hours earlier, the moon was the exact
shade of the oranges people sold on the side of the road. “Wow,” was
all she could manage.
They floated side by side for a while, watching the spectacle before
them, the sound of their chattering teeth and the waves crashing
behind them filling Julia simultaneously with adrenaline and a sense
of peace.
A few seconds later, overtaken by the cold, they ran back to shore,
headed straight for the fire. Julia covered herself up more for the
warmth of her arms than propriety. She sat on the towel, leaning in
close to the fire, though now that she was next to it, it didn’t seem all that necessary; adrenaline was doing plenty. She left a space for Dave,
but he grabbed what remained of the towel and draped it over her. He
sat right next to her, their sides touching, his jeans on and soaking up the Pacific off his legs. They breathed heavily, staring at the fire instead of the moon rising, which was getting more ordinary as it climbed
up the night sky, their smiles refusing to die down. Julia knew that
there were moments in your life that meant something but passed by
unnoticed, and she knew that this was not one of them.
Another car passed by behind them, this one heading north. Julia
could barely hear it over the sound of the ocean and the crackle of the
fire, not to mention her fluttering chest. Dave held her gaze, and Julia felt everything that she’d pushed down on the drive start to bubble
JULIA 227
back up. She thought about doing it again, about swallowing the love
and hanging on to just this. Loving him just like this, or from farther
away.
Then Dave, head still cocked to the side like a confused puppy,
reached over and brushed a wet strand of hair away from her forehead,
tucking it behind her ear and giving her a smile. Without meaning to,
Julia grabbed his hand before he pulled it away, interlacing her fingers with his. Warmed by the fire and the towel, Julia no longer felt cold.
But a shiver ran through her when she understood that she would not
be able to keep the words inside her anymore.
“Dave,” she said, feeling a sort of release in knowing that it was
coming and there was nothing she could do to stop it. He looked down
at their hands together but didn’t make a move to let go. She waited
until those kind eyes of his met hers, and then as if it was the easiest thing in the world, she told him she loved him.
228 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES
PART 3
DAVE & JULIA
BECAUSE I’M DUMB
LIKE SO MANY times before, Dave knew what Julia was about to say
before she said it. He could see it in her beautiful blue eyes, eyes he’d dreamed about for the past five years, even when awake. He’d imagined
that look in them enough times to recognize it exactly for what it was
before Julia confirmed it with her words.
His heart was already pounding from the swim in the ocean, the
ridiculous and beautiful timing of the moon rising as they bathed in
the frigid waters. He’d tried not to stare, but the sight of her running back to the shore had been funny and yet also a dream come true, the
way she looked in the darkness, pale and shapely, the curves and folds
of her flesh reflecting moonlight.
Now she was loosely draped in the towel they’d bought at the
grocery store in Carmel. Water dripped down her face, down her
collarbone, which disappeared into the darkness beneath the towel.
The fire brought out her eyes, the tint in her lips, her cheeks flushed
from the cold. He could think of nothing else but how beautiful she
looked just then, how long he’d been dreaming of exactly this moment.
Although this was better than dreaming. Then her words were out.
“I love you,” she said, the way he’d been keeping himself from saying.
Dave immediately leaned into Julia, getting closer to the person he’d
always been closest to.
It felt so right to kiss her.
After so long of dreaming about it, it should have been a
disappointment. His expectations, never reined in, had climbed so
high that reality should not have been able to live up to the moment.
The mind got carried away and life’s job was to show it how things
really were. Dave knew that’s how these things often went for
romantics. People longed for something for years, and when they got
it, they couldn’t help but feel cheated.
This wasn’t like that at all. Kissing Julia was exactly as great as kissing Julia should have been.