probably here just to grab a drink and didn’t want to be recognized.
I watch Jake smile politely at Mia and then I introduce the two of them.
Zack looks at me and cocks his head to the left. “You really didn’t know?”
I shake my head in answer to his question, but also to clear it from all the funny things that his voice does to me.
“I had no idea,” I say and feel a blush rise on my cheeks. I must be the only girl in America who wouldn’t recognize a super star like Zack Walters. According to one of Mia’s magazines he’s been rated America’s Hottest Bachelor, and I know his music rocks. I just haven’t listened to much since the accident and I’ve avoided his completely. “I’m sorry.”
Zack laughs and shakes his head again. “Don’t be. That was all…flattering.”
“Why?” It sounds more rude than I intended and I hear Mia snort next to me.
He shrugs and I can see Jake’s shoulders shaking from laughter. He must be the happiest guy on the planet. “It’s just…I don’t think anyone has ever tried to get a drink from me for the sake of getting shoes.”
Mia gasps. “You told them?! That so doesn’t count!”
I bite my lip and look at her apologetically. “Sorry,” I say, but then I wonder. “Did you know it was him when you sent me over here?”
Mia blushes. She actually blushes and I choke down my laughter. She shakes her head and smiles sheepishly at Zack, clearly still dumbfounded in his presence. “I couldn’t tell from so far away with the hat and everything.”
I point to Mia with my thumb and look back to Zack, wanting to break the earlier tension. Why? I have no clue. “She has a full size poster of you on her ceiling above her bed.”
Jake laughs and Mia glares at me as she mutters, “Shut up. It’s an eight by ten on my dresser.” Zack blushes, but Jake leans forward a little closer, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“So you’ve seen it, then?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not on my back on her bed very often.” I feel heat instantly on my cheeks as I realize what I just implied. I hope they let it go.
He doesn’t.
“So you like the top.”
I choke on my drink.
Zack hits him upside the head and it makes me laugh. “Don’t be a douche.”
“God no…I……” I stop myself from continuing. I’m stuttering and it’s embarrassing and everyone around me are laughing their asses off. But I admit, this is the most fun I’ve had since I can remember. It almost feels like old times and the thought makes me happy that I can actually do this again…and sad, suddenly, because in a sense I feel like I’m betraying Mark.
I sigh and look away to the stage. Whatever band is going to play later has started setting up. Tonight is a really big step, and admittedly, I’m having fun, but I don’t know if I’ll ever truly be able to go back and enjoy the things I used to without my biggest supporters and encouragers. I feel like Mark would want this for me. But I don’t know if I can do it without him, or if I even want to. I feel like I’m stuck in some human pinball arcade game being tossed back and forth between wanting to have my old life back, wanting to move on, wanting to be happy again, and wanting to hold on to everything I used to have, even though it’s not possible.
“Nic?” I jump when Mia’s arm nudges my side and I snap my head to her.
“Where’d you go?” She asks, but I just shake my head. I went to another life, but I feel too silly to say it in front of everyone. I look at Zack and Jake who are both watching me curiously.
“Nowhere,” I say and shake my head to clear the thoughts. “What’d I miss?”
“Mia was telling us about her job at Callie’s…I asked where you worked?”
“I’m a photographer.” Zack’s easy smiles turns to a frown instantly.
A photographer who just so happens to be randomly at the restaurant where he’s hanging out and slyly introduces herself? I’m sure it’s not the first time it’s happened to him. But I wave my hand dismissively wanting to ease the tension I feel rolling off of him in waves.
“I’m not that kind of photographer.” I feel the need to clarify my job, although why I suddenly feel like making