few months. Mia’s a great friend, and my parents are close enough that I can see them whenever, but besides them….I’ve been lonely.
Mia’s mouth turns into a perfect shaped “O” when she finally understands what I’m talking about. “Like dating?”
I nod and run my fingers through my hair, feeling especially vulnerable. “I mean, like…not tomorrow. But I miss…” I stop mid-sentence trying to find the right words to tell Mia how I feel. The truth is, I miss Mark and Andrew. I miss them every single second of every single day, but over the last few months I’ve finally accepted they’re gone. And once I began to accept that, I realized how much I miss a relationship – the closeness and intimacy with someone. I miss sharing my day and laughing over dinner and simply knowing there’s another person on the planet who cares about me in a way that’s above and beyond friendship and family. I want to feel that again.
I at least want to know it’s possible to feel that again.
I don’t need to finish my sentence for Mia to understand. Like always, she knows what I’m thinking without words and I’m sure the dreamy look in my eyes as I even contemplate a relationship with someone else tells her what I want.
“I think that I’m really happy you want this.” She speaks softly, but I don’t miss the way her face lights up. Her smile mirrors the way Andrew’s would shine with joy on Christmas morning when he came downstairs and saw the presents bursting out from underneath the tree. I know by even considering this, I’ve made her really happy.
I also know I’ve made her really dangerous, because more than her love of all things fashionable and fancy, her two favorite things in the world are dating, and setting people up on dates. She loves men. All sorts of types of men, and I’m guessing by even suggesting this idea, she’s now mentally flipping through her rolodex of guys she could, and will, set me up with. I can’t begrudge her too much, though. She’s really quite good at playing matchmaker.
Watching her excitement blows me away that somehow, we’ve been friends for a long time. Our personalities are so different, but perhaps, complimentary in so many ways. Mia takes every opportunity life throws her way full of gusto, like she can take on the world. She’ll take risks head-on, whereas I’ll take them on, when dared. In all the years we’ve been friends, she planned the adventures, and I went along reluctantly only after her three favorite words were issued: I dare you. But I was always thankful I followed her lead afterwards. Like the time we toilet-papered all the cheerleaders’ houses in high school, or traded her sorority house’s composite photo with her fling-at-the time frat house’s photo. My favorites are the time she decided she had to go sky-diving, and of course, the night she dared me to meet Mark.
Her light blue eyes dance with excitement while planning my future hook-up. I can practically see her plans for me taking shape.
“You’re really serious about all this aren’t you?”
I nod. “I need this tonight.”
“All right, then.” She claps her hands together as if we’ve just made a deal – on what I’m not so sure - but I have a feeling she’ll be talking me into doing something wild and stupid before the night’s out. I smile at the thought because for some reason, it doesn’t sound nearly as scary as I thought it would.
I eye her speculatively, wondering what she’s planning, but I’m saved when our food arrives. I dig into my burger like it’s my job because I feel a bit nervous as to what she’s thinking and I want to avoid her plan for as long as possible.
Eventually she loses the mischievous gleam in her eyes and we fall into an easy banter and I tell her about some of the families’ photographs I’ve taken over the week. Photography has always been one of my passions and it was Mia’s insistence that I find something to do with all the time on my hands, that caused me to start my own business. It was an easy choice and I originally began taking friend’s photos from my old neighborhood. They were more than willing to be my guinea pigs and eventually, they sent referrals my way and my business grew from there.
“So,” she begins and I instantly know I’m in trouble. “I want