the grass is green. It’s our thing. We just know what the other is thinking and how the other is feeling. We always know.
My mom and dad brought the portable radio, and when we hear the beginning strains of the song, Madison and I laugh and squeal, running out of the water. Gripping each other’s hands, we spin, dancing around to the song. “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac. It’s our song, the one we can’t stand still for when it comes on. It is one of those songs that makes you want to move.
“When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know,” we sing in unison, horribly off-pitch, but we cackle with amusement anyway, finding our singing amusing.
Laughing hysterically, we drop into the sand, letting our equilibrium adjust after vigorous spinning, the clouds and the gloomy sky shifting around us.
“You feel better?” Madison asks quietly as the song still plays in the background, both of us now deep in the task of digging for shells.
I shrug, remembering why I was so sad in the first place. Delilah, from our sixth-grade class, has taken it upon herself to pick on me this school year. We were all best friends last year, but whatever happened from then to now changed, and she’s made it her life’s mission to make my life a living hell.
I’ve gained weight over the summer. It’s obvious. My chest is bigger and so is my backside, but Madison has remained the same, keeping her thin figure, just like my mom. It’s tough. We’re supposed to be twins, but, at times like these, we couldn’t be any more opposite. I feel like I’m constantly trying to keep up.
Delilah’s been calling me names, and now, the entire sixth grade class has followed in her footsteps, adopting her mantra about me. My sister has obviously taken notice. She does what she can at school, standing up to Delilah to get her to stop—all the things I’d never be able to do for myself.
My biggest fear is she’ll be dragged into all of this, and that’s the last thing I want for her. Me bringing her down.
I shrug noncommittally, focusing a little too hard on a broken shell I’m in the process of digging up, anything to avoid her gaze. I wipe the damp grains of sand off the iridescent anomia shell, trying to clean it. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Mack.”
The way she says my name gives me pause. I look up, giving her my full attention. “What?”
“You’re not any of the things she says you are. You know that, right? You’re incredible.”
I grimace, thinking of all the shitty things she’s said lately. “Doesn’t feel like it,” I mumble, biting back the sting I feel behind my eyelids. I’ve always cared too much about what others think about me. I don’t want to be this way. Why does it matter if I’m not liked? Why do I feel the need to be friends with everyone? Why do I want everyone to like me? It comes so easily to Madison. Everyone loves her, and the few who don’t? She really couldn’t care less.
“Hey,” she says sharply, drawing my gaze back up to hers. “Delilah is a catty bitch who is miserable in her own life and is taking it out on you. Do not let her win, you hear me? You’re strong and beautiful, Mack. Don’t ever forget it.”
The tear slips down my cheek. So much for keeping my emotions in check. My sister reaches out, catching the tear with her finger.
“I’ll always be here, Mack. I’ll always protect you, no matter what. It’s you and me against the world.”
Two Weeks Later
I stare out the windows with a bored expression, shaking the memory away. All it does it cause my heart to restrict with pain. I keep everything on the outside vacant, but inside, I’m working on finding a way out of here.
It’s been hell in this place. The past few weeks have been absolute hell since the “incident.” That’s what they’re referring to it as.
I want gone.
From the pain. From the thoughts and the memories.
Gone from this shithole. Held here with people who need actual help. I don’t belong here. That much I know. Yet, I’m being treated like I’m the flight risk.
It’s fucking insane.
They’ve just barely deemed me okay to go outside for fresh air and lunch, which is better than nothing, I guess. I’ve noticed the leaves have slowly started to change color from vibrant green to a maple rust. The calendar in Dr.