promises that I made, and promises I intended on keeping. I was a man of my word, something I prided myself on, and Mackenzie’s very presence in my life put all that in jeopardy. She changed things so swiftly and quietly that I didn’t see it coming. She made me want to switch up the rules for her, and therein lies the problem. Women didn’t come between the Savages, but she almost did.
Things weren’t as clear anymore. The water staring back at me was murky. I still had a mess I needed to clean up, and things I had to do to hold up my end of the bargain. I just didn’t realize the bargain would cost me her. Everything revolved around her. I should’ve seen it sooner, but I was blinded by what I felt for her. I won’t make that mistake again.
I had one intention now and that was following through on my word. I never went back on a promise, especially to my brothers. If Mackenzie knew what was good for her, she’d stay away, far away.
Weighing the heavy stack of pages in my hands, I toy with the idea of throwing it away, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. Instead, I flip open to the first page and am just about to start reading when someone starts pounding on my door. With a frustrated grunt, I toss the stack back onto the coffee table and throw the door open with too much force to be necessary.
“Something’s wrong.” Marcus pushes inside, pacing the floor. I let the door slam shut, ignoring him. Grabbing another bottle of liquor from the bar, I reclaim my spot on the chaise. Without a single fuck, I drain the contents, ignoring the burn in my chest with each gulp and swallow.
I’d very much like to forget Mackenzie Wright ever existed.
“Vincent was acting weird, man. I think something is wrong. Have you spoken to him or any of the other guys?”
I sigh, resting the bottle between my legs. “Does it fucking look like I have?”
“What the hell is the matter with you, Sebastian? Don’t you care that Vincent, of all people, is acting shady? You know what he’s capable of.” There’s a panicked gleam in his eyes I should care about, but I don’t.
“Not really.” I close my eyes and tip my head back. The alcohol coursing through my veins makes it a whole hell of a lot easier to tune out Marcus and his antics. He drones on and on about this and that, and finally having enough, I thrust the bottle of liquor out at him.
“Just shut the fuck up and drink, or get the fuck out.”
He grimaces but grabs the neck of the bottle and takes a healthy swig. He plops onto the couch opposite me, and we spend the rest of the day there, killing the bottle and passing out. It’s the first time in days I’ve been able to sleep. The first time in days I’ve had a reprieve from thinking about Mackenzie and the unbearable ache in my chest.
Nothing good ever lasts, though.
Past
I sulk in front of the roaring bonfire. The waves of heat seep through the fabric of my clothes, the flames dying to lick at my flesh and peel them clean from my skin. I wish it would. I’ve been drinking recklessly this entire night.
Summer and I broke up again.
This back and forth shit is getting old. I wasn’t heartbroken. In fact, I didn’t care all that much about Summer or any other girl I’d dated in the past. I was numb, merely going through the motions. In reality, I didn’t know why so many others cared if we were together. Every breakup was the same. The town whispers, the gossip, the same old fucking drama. Summer was an escape I was all too eager to use.
A decent guy would feel guilty for not being upset, but I wasn’t a decent guy. I was just irked by the fact I wouldn’t be able to use our relationship as an escape for my own issues anymore.
Summer was a warm body who occasionally made me laugh. I don’t know why I kept her around as long as I did. The guys hated her. My parents thought she was a useless waste of space in my life.
I was bored. Plain and simple.
I hadn’t found my place in the world yet, and I so desperately wanted to, because this role? The one I’d been playing