she’s going to answer me, but she does.
“Madison.”
My mouth opens to say something, but nothing intelligible comes out. I don’t know how to respond to that. I don’t know how to feel about that.
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” she whispers, her voice tinged with sadness. I shake my head, blowing out a heavy sigh and pulling her closer.
“I don’t.”
“Sometimes it feels like it. She comes and goes as she pleases, but my mind always tries to rationalize it. She’s dead. How can she be in one place, standing at the foot of my bed, when I know she’s not really there?”
I press my lips together, deciding to delve deeper into whatever this connection is she has to her sister. “What does she…say to you?”
“Everything and nothing.”
“Is she here now?”
I feel her stiffen in my arms, and she jerks up, glaring down at me. “You’re making fun of me.”
I do my best to hide my smirk at the angry expression shrouding her face. “I’m not. I’m simply asking a question because I’m curious.”
“Well, no. She’s not,” she says dryly. I pull her back down onto my chest, and she surprisingly comes willingly, falling back into me like she didn’t just reveal a deep, dark secret.
“Sometimes, I think I still hear her because we were twins. I wonder if our bond was so strong that I can still hear her even in death? Then there are other times when I wonder if it’s all me, just in my head. I don’t want to believe I’m imagining it—imagining her.”
“Deep down, what does it feel like?”
She’s quiet. Too quiet. “It feels real.”
I hum, the sound vibrating in my chest, beneath her head, and she sighs. “You don’t believe me, do you?”
I pause, careful with how to respond. It’s not that I don’t believe her. I just don’t have any of the answers she’s searching for. “I believe that you believe it.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“Mackenzie, I don’t believe in stuff like that. I never have. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe you’re telling the truth. It doesn’t mean it isn’t really happening.”
She remains silent, as she mulls over my words. I mean them. I don’t think she’s crazy because she has conversations with her sister. I’ll never know the pain of losing a sibling, let alone the pain of losing a twin. I can’t fathom what she feels inside.
“If she were still alive, do you think we would’ve ever crossed paths with each other? I know you believe it was all planned from the start, but it wasn’t. The first night with you, in the restaurant, it was pure luck I ran into you. I hadn’t talked to my mom on the phone in years, and when she called me, I couldn’t think straight. I was headed to dinner with my friends that night, and then when I met you…everything changed.”
I’ve thought about this quite a bit. Always wondered how she planned our first meeting so seamlessly. How she knew to walk in there at that exact time. Hell, the dinner was spontaneous. After a business meeting that ran longer than expected, I wanted to eat by myself. What would’ve happened if that business meeting ended earlier, and I never had dinner there that night?
“I don’t know. We might’ve crossed paths eventually, but I’m sure things between us would’ve been a lot different. I didn’t know your sister well enough to imagine what her future would’ve been like had that night never happened. I had a few conversations with her over the years.” I swallow, not sure how she’ll react to this information. “And one on the night she died. Before I left.”
Mackenzie shifts in my arms. I expect her to push away and glare up at me, but she doesn’t do that. Instead, she rests her chin on my chest, all ears. I search her gaze for any lingering remnants of anger or betrayal, but there are none. She just wants to hear whatever it is I have to say. I get the feeling that, sometimes, Mackenzie just wants to talk about her sister because she misses her. Instead of missing her on her own and keeping her emotions locked inside, this gives her a chance to share it with me. And I can respect that.
Blowing out a sigh, I recount that night. “I noticed you that night. Didn’t put it together until much later.”
“Me?” Those gorgeous eyes grow round with surprise. Right now, they’re a beautiful blend of honey with specks