while he helps me walk through the dirt and weeds to get to the letter H. We bypass the metal bars holding the letter up, keeping it in place, and stand beneath the awning of the letter.
My breath leaves me in a gust of air, and I reach out, gripping the side of the letter for support as I take in the view. My heart is beating wildly in my chest, as I look down at the sprawling hills, the setting sun, and the twinkling lights of the city. The sky is cast in various shades of orange and red, the barest hints of purple blending at the edges as it disappears into the wispy clouds. The lights of the city slowly grow brighter and brighter, as the sun and the harmonious blend of colors evaporate, leaving an indigo imprint in the sky. If things were different, this might easily be the most romantic day of my life.
“I’ve always wanted to do this. It’s scarier than I imagined, but it’s…beautiful.”
“I know.”
My lips part when I look back at him and realize he’s watching me. The sharp planes of his face are incredibly handsome and severe in this lighting. The lights flick on around us, illuminating the letters, giving me a clear view of his bright and intense eyes that feel like they’re staring into my soul. Heat rises to my cheeks at the way he’s staring at me, and I glance down, my eyes suddenly riveted to his shoes. A smile tips the corners of my lips, and a lightness I haven’t felt in a while slithers through my body.
“You look ridiculous out here in that suit, you know that, right?”
Baz laughs. The sound is husky and deep, and I feel the effects of it rumble in my chest. “My options were limited today.”
“Why bring me up here to see this?”
His broad shoulders lift in a noncommittal shrug, his smile slowly fading as he looks out at the last bits of the setting sun. It casts the last remnants of a warm purple glow over the hills until it disappears. “Why not? You wanted to see it. I have the ability to make it happen.”
Our gazes lock, and I feel it, that current passing between us. I feel myself forgetting his harsh words from earlier and wanting to fall into his arms. I miss that. The feeling of him wrapped around me.
“But why? Why would you want to do that for me, Baz?”
He steps into me, resting his hands on my hips. The warmth from his palms seeps into the material of my pants, spreading fire along my skin. He applies the slightest bit of pressure, and I follow where he leads me until my back softly collides with the inside of the letter H. He doesn’t move his hands up or down my body any farther. Just stays locked here in the moment with me.
“Because you’re going to hate me,” he finally answers. “This is one last good before all the bad.”
I frown, my stomach twisting at his words. “Not sure how that’s possible. I already hate you.”
His lips quirk, but it lasts only a few seconds. “I’m going to take from you. I’m going to take what I want and then leave because that’s what I do. And you’ll hate me for it.”
I’m stunned silent, though I know he’s right. And it’s probably for the best that I hate him. After everything that has happened, it’s only fair. But this foolish part of me doesn’t want to hate him. It’s moments like these when I want things to go back to the way they were. I want to erase my past, erase all the wrongdoings, and move forward. But I can’t do that. I don’t know how to let go of the past, and that’s my biggest issue.
And he knows this. Deep down, he knows I’ll never be able to let any of this go. I’ll never be able to trust him or his friends.
I suck in a sharp gasp when Baz suddenly wedges one of his knees between my legs, his eyes trailing over my face. My heart thumps to life, and my legs slightly part for him. His hands slide up my sides, caressing the sides of my stomach and the edges of my breasts, and my lips part on instinct. Both of those rough and calloused hands trail up my neck, one grasping me by the nape and the other settling in my hair.
He tugs