double date of my entire existence. How I went back to Audrey’s place, shared another night of drunken sex, and had woken up to discover Audrey has a kid.
“Wow,” she breathed out on an exhale when I was finished.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I really need to stop drinking so much before sleeping with that woman. It’s becoming a habit.” I chuckled and shook my head at the absurdity of it. I rarely drink, and her experience with alcohol was clearly limited. What was it about spending time together that made us succumb to booze? Was it the need for bravery, for an excuse to act on the obvious attraction?
But Dr. Travetti didn’t seem to care much about that. Instead, she focused on the bigger elephant in the room. “How do you feel about her having a child?”
“That’s a tough one, Doc.”
“I thought it would be,” she sympathized. “Do you want to talk about it, or are you purposely avoiding the topic?”
I shook my head, drooping forward against my knees. “I’m not avoiding it. I’m just …” I scrubbed a hand over my chin and met her gaze. “She declared us as a we. Like, together.”
A soft smile shaped her lips. “That’s wonderful, Blake.”
“Yeah, and I’m cool with that. I actually want that. I don’t know why I want it, especially with her, but I fucking do, you know? And I had thought, hey, she could be my weekend girlfriend. We could do shit together when Jake isn’t around, when I have some time off work or whatever. We could date.” The word rolled against my tongue and I enjoyed its taste.
“Then, this shit drops in my lap, and, Doc …” I shook my head slowly. “I was pretty annoyed, let me tell you. Like, she should’ve told me that shit, right? I never thought of myself as someone who could handle kids, you know?”
Disappointment overshadowed her features as she said, “I can understand that, but, Blake—”
“No, hold on,” I stopped her. “I talked it out with her, Doc. You would’ve been so fuckin’ proud of me. I had started to get defensive, I could feel it happening, but she wouldn’t let me leave until we talked it out.”
I thought the good doctor would weep as she nodded. “Blake. You might be my best success story yet.”
Barking with a laugh, I said, “Hey, don’t get too excited. Maybe it was a fluke, I don’t know. And besides, it was pretty hard for me to stay annoyed when I was thinking about that awesome little kid with his Daniel Tiger t-shirt and Legos.”
“What’s his name?” she asked softly.
“Freddy.” I smiled, remembering his tough guy attitude. Remembering the things she said to me on her front porch. “She’s a teacher raising this cool little kid. She goes out, has a life, and comes home to be a mom.”
Something startled the good doctor then. Her gaze widened for a moment, her lips parted, and I thought I heard her gasp. I asked what was wrong and she gave her head a gentle shake. “Nothing. It just reminded me of someone I used to know. But anyway, it sounds like you two have a lot more in common than you thought,” Dr. Travetti commented thoughtfully, and I hummed in reply, shaking my head.
“But see, that’s where you’re wrong, Doc. This girl has never let crap get in the way of her living her life. Her family has dealt with shit, she had a kid, and she still goes out on weekends, and gets inked and drunk and goes after the bitter bastard she likes. She handles shit. She doesn’t whine about things, she doesn’t let them get in her way. She just deals with it and lives her fucking life.”
“I see,” she replied. “So, you admire her.”
“Hell yeah, I do. ‘Cause while she’s there, handling the shit in her life with patience and a smile on her face, what am I doing? I’m over here, thinking I need to get rid of Jake in order to move forward in my job or to have a girlfriend.”
It had been a couple of hours since I went to Shady Acres with my parents and Jake, and the thought of even considering the place bubbled in my gut and left me nauseous. And I admitted as much to the good doctor. “I thought it’d be a good idea,” I explained helplessly. “And it’s a nice place, don’t get me wrong, but …”
“But what?”
I lifted my gaze to hers and