dark. I froze on the spot, unable to move an iota of an inch. She’d rendered me speechless, motionless, and if it weren't for the vibration of my heart, I would've assumed I was dead.
She rounded to stand before me. Shit ... When I'd seen her a week ago, how had I not noticed then what a sight she was? Sure, I’d noticed she was attractive, but now, in this new light, she left me awestruck. White-gold hair gleaming underneath the grey light of the club. Pale blue eyes taking on a navy hue in the shadows. If I believed in a heaven, I could've been convinced that she'd fallen, an angel with fractured wings.
At the thought, my eyes dipped to a glint of silver hanging from a chain around her neck. The cross twinkled with every rise and fall of her chest, and I forced my disappointment down to the pit of my stomach. To turn and sour and haunt me later.
"Oh, hey." I said, regarding her with the kindest smile I could muster.
"Hey!" She grinned, showing off wide rows of white teeth. She extended her fair hand, and I hesitated. I didn't deserve to touch her, to soil her pristine skin, but I accepted and lightly held her hand in mine as she said, "Audrey. I don't know if you remember—"
"I do," I cut in without hesitation, nodding. That tattoo etched into her chest, its black wings peeking out from the neckline of her pink t-shirt, had haunted my thoughts and world for over a week. There was no way I could mask my recognition now.
“Sorry for bothering you,” she apologized needlessly. "I just saw you read that poem and had to tell you, it's beautiful. A little sad, but definitely beautiful."
"Thanks," I said, but I also wanted to correct her. It wasn't beautiful. It was me, my thoughts, and there was absolutely nothing beautiful about the shit crawling around inside my brain.
Beneath the dimmed lights, I watched a faint pink blush creep its way up her neck and blossom in springtime flourish over her cheeks. It was cold, the middle of October in Salem, and the cockles of my stony heart echoed with a deathly winter chill, but this woman reminded me of flowers and newborn animals. Of warmth, sunshine, and color.
"Are you here with anyone?" she asked.
"Nah," I answered, uncomfortable that she'd asked.
With a flutter of her hand, she gestured toward a table. "My cousins and I are over there, if you want—"
"I was actually just leaving."
The abruptness of my response rendered her momentarily speechless. Her mouth was frozen in a pink O that shouldn't have made me think lewdly, yet it did. I thought of her, on her knees, dirtying up those light-colored jeans. This is why I can't find someone, I thought, sending a message out to Dr. Travetti. I'm filthy, soiled, and I'd only ruin someone else. Especially someone like her.
"Oh, okay," she finally spoke. "Can I walk you to your car, then?"
"I rode my motorcycle," I corrected her, as if it mattered, and began to walk away. "It was nice seeing you again, Aud—"
"Hold on," she called to me, before telling someone else, "I'll be right back."
I listened for her footsteps. Hoping she was following, hoping she decided to stay behind. I moved quicker toward the stairs that would lead me to the sidewalk, tricking myself into believing she wasn't behind me, until I heard her say my name again.
"Blake! Goodness, you walk fast."
I didn't want to be a dick. Honestly, I didn’t. So, I made myself stop. I allowed her to catch up, and when she did, she smiled up into my eyes.
"Sorry," I muttered in a voice so low, it seemed nearly sinister to my ears.
"It's okay."
I didn't want her to walk with me outside into the parking lot. I didn't want her to see the bike that only came out to play once a week, when my brother wasn’t my responsibility. I didn't want her light to seep anymore into the fractured seams of my life, but I did nothing to stop her as she followed me up the stairs.
I pulled a breath of cool air into my lungs and closed my eyes. Audrey did the same, as if she was mocking me. Or maybe it was also her way, to appreciate the chill of a sunless night.
"It's beautiful tonight," she commented quietly. "I love the fall."
"So do I."
She laughed lightly. "Oh, I'm so surprised." There was sarcasm in