It was on the warm feeling in my belly, the woman who had put it there, and the cross laying against the split butterfly on her chest.
Her smile never left her lips and her laugh added melody to the restaurant racket. I leaned back in my chair, head cocked and eyes hooded, just watching as she talked to Celia and Shane like she wasn’t the odd ball in her turquoise top and white jeans.
“I love these,” she declared, holding up her fourth candy corn martini. “So much better than a Manhattan.”
Shane clinked his tall glass of lager against the stout glass in her hand. “Yeah! Fuck Manhattan,” he agreed with valor, then furrowed his brow. “Wait, are we talking about the city or the drink?”
“The drink,” I chimed in, reaching out for my gin and tonic.
“Oh,” he replied, raising his glass to his lips. “That’s different, then.”
“What do you have against Manhattan?” Cee asked him.
“Absolutely nothing,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I was just going along with what she was saying to be nice.”
Giggling, Audrey’s eyes met mine as she explained, “Up until a few weeks ago, I had never had anything other than a Manhattan. And then, this guy,” she reached across the table to nudge my hand with hers, “introduced me to the exciting world of alcohol.”
I snorted. “You make it sound like I drink so much.”
“Well, you drink more than I do!”
Shane watched the exchange with amused intrigue. “Wait, how did you two meet, anyway?”
My gaze dropped to the tattoo on her chest and I pointed toward it. “I have that thing to blame entirely for all of this shit,” I grumbled, catching her eye and finding it impossible to fight my grin.
“Wait, what?” Shane peered closer, focusing on the image, and his eyes widened with recognition. “Whoa. Hold up. You’re Butterfly Tattoo Chick?”
The rosy hue on her cheeks deepened as her lips dipped toward her martini. “Guilty.”
Shane threw his hands into the air and tipped onto the back legs of his chair. “Get the fuck out of here. This is the craziest shit ever! Why didn’t you tell me you were her? I could’ve gotten a few shots of the two of you together or something!”
My brow furrowed and Audrey asked between giggles, “Why?”
“Oh, Audrey, Audrey, Audrey …” He draped his arm over the back of her chair and came in close to her ear, tipping his forehead toward her temple. He was crowding her and I saw the column of her throat shift with a swallow. He was one inch away from making her uncomfortable, and my fists were clenched against the table.
“Sweetheart. Do you know you’re the reason why I even found this guy?” he went on. Then, he turned to face Cee. “Huh, come to think of it, I never would’ve met you, either.”
Cee blushed, as Audrey replied, “I didn’t know that.”
“Fuckin’ Fate, man,” Shane muttered, releasing her from his grip and grabbing his pint glass. He raised it up into the air and said, “To Fate, for making shit happen.”
Audrey and Cee raised theirs and repeated in unison, “To Fate.”
The three pairs of eyes turned to me. Staring and waiting for my anti-religious resolve to buckle and break under the weight of peer pressure. But they weren’t getting it from me. Not here, not tonight. But I did raise my glass in silence, letting the lip tap against Audrey’s, and I downed my fourth drink, knowing there would be a fifth, all while two words echoed through my head.
To Fate.
***
“Well, kids,” Shane announced, draping an arm around Cee’s shoulders, “we’re out of here.”
“What are you guys gonna do?” Cee asked, flitting her gaze between Audrey and me.
“Oh, I know what they’re gonna do,” Shane teased, reaching out to jab between my ribs.
I snorted and brushed him off, while wondering if he was right. Would I sleep with her again? Fuck, I hoped so.
“Get home safe, guys,” Audrey said, stepping forward to give Cee a hug.
“Yeah, you too,” Celia replied, wrapping Audrey in a tight embrace. “I hope I see you again, pretty lady.”
It was strange, witnessing Celia’s purple dreadlocks blend against Audrey’s platinum blonde hair. It should’ve been unnatural, just like my attraction to her. But somehow, it wasn’t. Somehow it was as natural as my need for darkness and autumn, and it was driving me crazy that I couldn’t make sense of it. So, I thought maybe it was time I stopped trying to and just accepted it for whatever it