that fuels the passion we both have for each other. Fighting I can handle, emotions I can’t. I’m weak when it comes to that, to her, I’m the weakest of them.
I push everything out of my mind and move with determination. It has to be this way. It’s for the best. I throw everything that’s left of me into soul-searing sex between us. My movements becoming harder, faster, my left arm wrapped around her waist, my right on her ass moving her against me. Macy’s panting and gently biting down on my neck and it only fuels my fire and sends me over the fucking edge. Macy’s body tightens around me and I push harder into her chasing my own orgasm, praying she’s close because I’m not lasting.
“Oh, Landon,” she cries out.
Her body goes limp in my arms as I continue to drive into her. It starts out low in my stomach building rapidly and then it hits like a freight train.
“Damn,” I grind out still pumping in and out of her slowly as my release hits.
I rest my head on her shoulder and it’s then that I realize she’s crying. Shit. Was I too rough? Did I hurt her?
No, that’s all I’ve ever done is hurt her. This is more, she knows. She always knows what I can’t bare to say to her. This is her knowing there’s no chance for us. Not when I can’t give myself to her in the ways she needs.
I lift her chin and a tear slips down her cheek. Her next words break that last piece that was holding me together. “You stole my heartbeat.”
I blink, pulling away from her, and the words come out before I can stop them. “I can’t steal something you give to me over and over again to destroy.”
She says nothing because she knows it’s the truth but yet she doesn’t give a shit. She’d rather hold on to what we had and not what else is out there in the world, outside of this bubble she put us in.
My response has hit a nerve with her. Leaving me sitting up on the bed, Macy grabs her clothes and starts to get dressed. “Where are you going?”
She looks at me like I’m stupid and maybe I am. “I’m leaving. I can’t do this with you anymore.”
I laugh bitterly, pissed because I’m the one who always leaves. “Are you running off to Cash now?”
Macy stops and turns to me. Anger rolling off of her as she yells, “What the fuck is your problem with me and Cash?” She pushes me hard causing me to fall on the bed. “Why do you always think that we have something going on? Have I ever given you a reason to believe something is going on between Cash and me?”
I look away because she hasn’t. I’m just jealous that she still has a friendship with Cash.
“Damn it, answer me, Landon.” Macy pulls her shirt over her head and grabs her purse off the floor. “You can’t answer me, can you, Landon? You can’t because you and I both know that I haven’t.”
She pulls the door open and storms out. Leaving the door wide open, my body and my heart now exposed for all the world to see.
Finally, she’s pissed and I hope this time she stays away. Stays strong enough to stay mad at me so she can move the hell on with her life.
October 10, 2013
“Landon, I’m worried about you. Your grades are slipping,” Professor Robinson says when she looks down at the piece of paper in her hand. It’s yet another test I failed. I shouldn’t have, but I did. It’s not like I didn’t try studying but Madison had other ideas about halfway through and I got side-tracked with getting high with her. Forgetting about what was important.
I nod my understanding.
“I think you need to get a tutor if you plan on passing this class and keeping that scholarship of yours.” Mrs. Robinson gives me a pitiful smile and I hate her for it. She knows about my past. How I’m not exactly sure but she knows. She’d mentioned it one time when she called me down for failing the first assignment.
“Yes, ma’am,” I say reaching for my test that she’s handing me.
I run up the steps two at a time so I can make it to my next class on time. Just another thing I need to worry about on top of all the other shit I’ve got going