the water polo team at Columbia.
They’d included a little nail-painting emoji too.
I felt like I was floating away. Disconnected from my body. Like the earth was realigning itself underneath me, and when I touched back down, I wouldn’t know where I was anymore.
It wasn’t the bisexual thing—I’d already been pretty sure about that. It wasn’t even the ‘taking it up the ass from half the water polo team’ thing. Honestly, if I’d been a little less totally freaked the fuck out, I probably would have found that idea kinda hot.
But the name.
Ariel Sachs-Vaughn.
It fluttered around my head for a minute like a bird, and for the first time, when I reached out for it, I caught hold. The weight of it settled over me like a blanket.
Ariel. That was my name. No, not Ariel—Ari. The thought bubbled up from somewhere deep inside me, like it had just been waiting for me to open the door. I went by Ari. I was as sure of that as I was of the sun.
“My name is Ari,” I said out loud.
It fit. It fucking fit. For the first time since I’d woken up here, I’d remembered something concrete about myself. And it felt right.
Sachs-Vaughn. That couldn’t be a common last name, could it? I searched it immediately and my eyes widened at another name I recognized. A name that felt like it had been on the tip of my tongue for days now.
Robert Vaughn, oil heir and tech entrepreneur. A picture accompanied the name—a tall man with salt and pepper hair, a trim beard, and a face that looked not that dissimilar from mine, if you added about thirty years. My father.
It triggered something in my gut. A spike of adrenaline. Sent my heart racing all over again, which didn’t make sense, but then again, nothing about this whole situation made sense. It had to just be a reaction to the shock of remembering.
I opened my dad’s Wikipedia page and skimmed it. Robert Vaughn, twin brother of Edward Vaughn and son of Leland Taylor Vaughn, head of an oil dynasty in Texas. Reported to have had a falling out with his family over environmental concerns, split to invest in green technology in California. Married Laura Sachs, an art historian. Three children, Leah Sachs-Vaughn, Ayelet Sachs-Vaughn, and Ariel Sachs-Vaughn.
My sisters. I could see them in my mind, as though their names were the key to unlocking those memories. Leah with her long brown hair and serious eyes, Letty with her wild red curls and smile that split her face in half.
And my mother. She was the brunette woman in all those memories. It was her voice, warm and loving, teasing me about wrinkles. I could hear her laugh. I could practically smell her perfume.
My family. According to Wikipedia, we lived in the Bay Area, and had a second house in France? That sounded—God, it sounded right, though that meant that commenter was right, and I was loaded. Which, I supposed, explained the kidnapping.
Holy shit—the kidnapping. There were still people looking for me, but I knew who I was now. I should be able to get in touch with my family. To go home.
I’d be safe.
So why did the thought make me so nervous?
18
Holden
“Eric! Hey, Eric, give her a kiss, come on!”
The shout came from behind us as Hadley and I walked along the Birch Bay promenade. The wind whipped Hadley’s scarf in front of her face, and I was far more interested in making sure she didn’t strangle herself than in kissing her. I stopped and pulled her towards me, anyway, pressing a kiss to her cheek and listening to a shutter click twenty feet away.
I knew that wasn’t the kind of kiss they meant, but that was all they were gonna get. Even though Gus knew about this, and understood why Hadley was here, it would still feel wrong, kissing anyone other than him. Like cheating.
You can only cheat on someone you’re in a relationship with, whispered a voice in the back of my mind.
Was that what Gus and I had? A relationship? I wasn’t sure. But it was something.
As long as Gus was willing to put up with me, anyway. Not just with this, but with me being, well, myself. My weird limits and psychological baggage. I was still amazed he wanted anything to do with me.
But I wasn’t going to lose him. As long as he wanted me around, I’d be there.
“You ever gonna tell them you go by Holden now?”