it just happened to be the first thing you needed someone to confirm for you about your past, but that it’s definitely not related to the super-hot guy who you’re definitely not sleeping with, because you’ve always been a model of sexual modesty and restraint?”
“I hate you.”
“Love you too, dummy. I’ll go get Mom.”
I felt dazed and exhausted when I finally got off the phone with my mother. It was good to talk to my family. I felt more grounded than I had in a long time. But I also felt—well, I felt like I needed to talk to Holden.
I found him in his room, stepping out of the bathroom and wrapping a towel around his waist. I caught just a glimpse of his long, luscious cock before it disappeared behind a layer of terrycloth, and I tried not to be disappointed.
“How’re you doing, kid?” Holden asked.
I still wasn’t sure how I felt about that term of endearment. He said it with a smile on his face, but it felt distancing, this morning. Like he was setting up a barrier between us.
Or maybe that was all in my head. Maybe I was just reacting to the weirdness of talking to my family. A good weirdness. But a weirdness, nonetheless.
“Okay, I guess,” I said, stepping towards him. He knew what I needed without me having to ask, and folded me into a hug.
“You guess?” he said, brushing his lips across my forehead before tucking me against his neck.
“I mean, I feel good. But weird too. And then I feel bad about feeling weird, because they’re my family, and I should be excited to see them. And I am. I am. But I just still feel like something’s wrong.”
“I’m sure that’s just your brain trying to protect you,” Holden said. “You’ve been through a lot this month. You’re probably just bracing yourself in case another shock happens.”
“But what if something does happen?”
“What if something doesn’t?” Holden countered. “What if you get on a plane and meet your parents wherever they are, and it feels really good to be with them. What if it makes all your memories come back, and everything goes back to normal, and you’re happy?”
It made sense. It did.
So why did I still have this unease lurking in my gut?
“So when do you have to leave?” he asked, smoothing a hand over my hair.
I pulled back, blinking. “Leave?”
“To meet your family.” Holden was still smiling, but it looked like someone had stretched a bottom sheet the wrong way on a mattress. The corners were pulled too tight.
“I’m not going anywhere. My dad’s flying here. Well, to Portland, anyway. He left Europe this morning. His flight gets in this afternoon, and I’m supposed to meet him at the airport, but we can come right back here.”
“The rest of your family isn’t coming?”
“They weren’t even sure I was here until now. My dad flew over to check, but the rest of them stayed behind in case it was a mistake. I’m sure they’ll come over soon, though.”
Holden nodded, but his smile still didn’t quite reach his eyes. He pulled away to get dressed.
“Do you have your dad’s flight info? And his phone number? Shit, we should get you a phone, shouldn’t we? Something temporary, so you can at least keep in touch with him today. And me, once you—” he broke off to pull a shirt over his head, and when he started talking again, he’d switched topics. “A car. You’ll need a car to get to the airport. Or a ride, anyway. Is he flying directly to Portland, or laying over in Boston? We could just send you there, if it would be easier.”
I frowned at the onslaught and how business-like he was being, but it was the last sentence that really worried me.
“Send me there? Aren’t you coming too?”
The look Holden gave me was so tender that it made me mad. His voice was feather-soft.
“I’d just be in the way, Ari.”
I looked away, angry. “Why would you be in the way? I want you there.”
“Yeah, but…” Holden came to stand in front of me, zipping the jeans he’d just pulled on. “I think your dad might want some time with just the two of you. I mean, your parents thought I was the person who kidnapped you until an hour ago. I’m not sure they want me in the room when they see you again for the first time. Besides, I agreed to do an interview later this afternoon