have gasped in horror, if the first guy hadn’t already been strangling me. As it was, all I could do was watch, sick to my stomach, as the second man drew closer. He’d never actually reached me in any of the dreams, yet. I’d always woken up before he got close enough for me to see his face.
The hands around my neck tightened and my vision flickered in and out. When I could see again, the second man was closer. His face was still shrouded, like it was behind a veil, but there was something about him that set off every internal panic alarm I had.
My vision flickered again, and now he was even closer, three feet away, looming in front of me. I clawed at the hands that held my neck. Kicked out, desperate to make contact, to get away somehow.
Flicker. My vision cleared, and the second man came into focus, face inches from mine. For the first time, I could see him for who he was.
I screamed.
The second man was my father.
“Gus! I mean, Ari! Whatever your name is, wake up. Wake up!”
A hand on my shoulder shook me awake, pulling me out of the stark terror of my dream. It took me a second to surface, and to realize we’d pulled over to the side of the highway.
“Daisy, we have to go,” I said, pushing myself upright.
“I know, I know. The airport. We’re going. But I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Daisy looked at me with concern. “I didn’t know you’d drifted off, but when you started flailing and screaming and almost hit me in your sleep, I decided it was time to pull over.”
“No, not the airport. We have to go home. Back to Edgecliffe. Back to Holden.”
“Why?” Daisy frowned. “Aren’t we supposed to meet your father?”
“That’s just it.” I stared at her, wild-eyed, trying to get my heartbeat under control. “I just remembered. A part of the dream that was never clear—until now.”
“Dream?” Daisy sounded more confused than ever.
“A dream, a memory—it doesn’t matter.” I shook my head. “We need to get back to Holden. I can’t go meet my dad.”
“Why not?” Daisy asked. “Listen, Gus—Ari. I know you’re upset. But your dad’s gonna be waiting for you. He flew all the way over here to meet you, your parents have been worried sick since you were kidnapped. We can’t just not meet him because you’re homesick or you miss Holden.”
“I’m not homesick, and it had nothing to do with Holden,” I protested. “We can’t go meet my dad, because my dad’s the one who kidnapped me.”
20
Holden
I watched Ari disappear around a bend in the drive and did my best not to feel like we’d just said goodbye for good.
A quiet sort of anguish filled me at the thought of not seeing him again for who knew how long. But I’d done the right thing. Even if I hated it.
I still had some time before Todd James, the journalist from Stars Today magazine, arrived. My agent had picked him to do a full-length interview about my ‘return’ to acting.
Some return. I’d never been planning on going back, only using this as a distraction. And now that Ari was going back to his family, it seemed particularly pointless. But I’d go through with my commitment.
Hadley was communing with her crystals or something—I hadn’t really understood what she was saying, but it had something to do with going up to the northwest turret—and I thought about going to bother her for a bit. But she’d only need one look at me to know what a wreck I was, and I wasn’t really in the mood to talk about my feelings.
What I actually should have done was shower. I’d just fucked Ari for the first time—Christ, I’d just fucked Ari for the first time—and as much as I wouldn’t mind the scent of his skin lingering on me, the point was to distract people from the fact that I had a guy staying with me, not make it more obvious.
Well, used to have a guy staying with me, I supposed.
I couldn’t bring myself to shower yet, though. Something about being naked felt too vulnerable. I’d just wonder what Ari was doing. How long it would take him to reach the airport. Whether I’d even hear from him today, once he’d reconnected with his dad.
So as I often did when my mind became a trap of my own making, I decided to go for a run. Might