and teasing me. Their words washed over me in waves.
It wasn’t a flash of remembering, like with my mom. It was more like coming into your kitchen in the morning and opening all the cabinets, letting the soft dawn light illuminate what had been hidden away overnight. Memories unfurled inside me, along with a sense of belonging, and a rock-solid knowledge of who I was.
When the conversation finally wound down, I asked Letty if I could talk to her off of speakerphone.
“Not about anything secret or dangerous,” I added. “Make sure Mom knows that, if she’s still listening.”
“Alright, dummy, you’re off speaker,” Letty said after a moment. “What’s so top secret that you don’t want the others knowing?”
“It’s not top secret,” I said, glancing at the door. Holden had left half an hour ago to give me some privacy. It wasn’t that I’d mind him overhearing this question, exactly, but it still felt like the kind of thing I wanted to confirm by myself first. “It’s just—well, this is kind of embarrassing.”
“Ooh, my favorite. Do tell.”
I could just picture her big, toothy grin. She’d always had the best smile in the family, and it was so unfair that she had to be so buttoned up all the time for her work.
“Okay, so this is awkward, but like—I’m bi, right?” I blurted out, and when Letty didn’t answer, added, “Sexual, that is. Bisexual? Like, I just want to make sure that amnesia didn’t change something about me, or make me think that I—”
“Oh my God, that’s what you’re asking about?” Letty sounded delighted. “I thought you were going to say you’d suffered some facially disfiguring injury, and ask me to prepare Mom in advance before she saw you.”
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
“Oh, I’m not disappointed,” Letty corrected me. “I’m heartily amused, but not disappointed.”
“So glad I could be of service,” I said acidly. “But, uh, about my question…”
She laughed. “Yes, you’re bisexual. At least, that’s what you’ve told us.”
“And like, actually bi? Not just like I’m saying that because I’m too scared to come out as gay?”
“Ari, you came out to the entire family as gay when you were thirteen, at the dinner table.” She snorted. “You were very proud, and it was very cute, and then it was even cuter when you got all bashful and re-came-out as bi in college. You’d met a girl who you really liked, and you were afraid we were all going to think you’d just said you were gay for attention.”
That actually sounded vaguely familiar. And very embarrassing. Maybe if I didn’t think about it too hard, I could manage not to fully recover that particular memory.
“But you dated Tim in high school, and you and Andy were like, joined at the dick your senior year of college, so as much as I don’t like to contemplate my brother’s sex life, I’m pretty sure you’re fairly omnivorous in your tastes. Does that help?
“Oh. Okay, good. Good. That’s what I thought.” I blew air out of my cheeks. “Yeah. Thank you. That does help.”
“Can I ask why you felt the need to ask that question?” Letty said slyly.
“What? No—no reason. I just—like I told Mom, things are still kinda fuzzy, and I’m just trying to like, remember who I am.”
“Right,” she said, clearly unconvinced. “And I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve been convalescing at the home of Hollywood’s most reclusive bachelor.”
“Excuse me, that is none of your business,” I said, realizing too late that I’d just confirmed all her suspicions.
“Excuse me, I’m pretty sure everything about you and your whereabouts and well-being is all of our business for the foreseeable future,” Letty said. “And it will be, until you’re home safe and sound and can convince Mom to stop fussing over you. So like…five more years, at least.”
“Oh my God,” I groaned. “I wish I’d never remembered I had a family.”
“Tough luck. Now, if you want to tell me any more about this hot guy who’s none of my business, I’m all ears, but if not, I’m pretty sure Mom wants to talk to you again about Dad’s flight and all that.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I said primly.
“Have you remembered that you’re a terrible liar yet?”
“Fuck you.”
“Aww, there’s your fighting spirit. Glad to see you haven’t lost that.”
“Just put Mom on. And not a word about this to her or Leah.”
“What would I even tell them?” Letty said. “That you just happened to ask me if you liked dudes, that