pictures of him, total, from the past seven years. All we know is that he’s moved to some castle in Maine to commune with the forest or something. Details are, obviously, scarce. Dude’s decided to be a recluse and he’s pretty good at it. What would make him change his mind about Hollywood appearances now?
So imagine my surprise this morning when that picture count ticked up to four. An eagle-eyed reader spotted Amundsen in the background of a picture from Birch Bays winter festival and sent it on to us. And readers, unless I’m hallucinating from lack of caffeine—I’ve only had one venti latte so far this morning—it’s not only Amundsen in the picture, but Amundsen KISSING A MYSTERIOUS WOMAN.
I repeat—Eric Amundsen, once Hollywood’s biggest heartthrob, now famous for hiding from the paparazzi—was seen, in public, kissing a lady friend.
This is not a drill.
Of course, we don’t know anything else yet, like the identity of the mystery woman—stupid earflaps—or whether this outing is a harbinger of more Eric Amundsen sightings to come. I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I’ll obviously be staying tuned for further updates, and post anything new that develops.
In the meantime, though, I’ll be celebrating the holidays a little early this year, in the form of staring at Eric Amundsen’s diamond-cutting cheekbones. The Christmas miracle we needed and deserved.
Attached to the article was a grainy—but not grainy enough—picture of the Christmas tree lighting ceremony from the night before. Gus and I were clearly visible, off to one side. Kissing.
I wanted to throw up.
I’d spent seven years hiding from the limelight, and the first time I went out, I managed not just to get my picture taken, but to get it taken kissing somebody. Not just somebody, but a guy. And not just any guy, but Gus.
Sweat broke out on my face as I read the rest of Hadley’s texts.
HADLEY: Maybe no one will really pick it up. The picture’s not that great quality
HADLEY: You could maybe even argue that it’s not you
Fifteen minutes later, she’d texted again.
HADLEY: Shit ok. So maybe that was wishful thinking on my part
She’d included links to three other gossip sites, that time, with articles titled Amundsen the Eligible Bachelor, A Christmas Kiss for Eric Amundsen, and Teen Heartthrob All Grown Up—And Not Afraid Who Knows It.
That last headline in particular made me want to punch something. I hadn’t even been a teenager when I’d been on Infinity Falls, and I was thirty now. It wasn’t like I’d been trying to get caught kissing someone on camera. They didn’t have to make it sound like I’d done it on purpose.
The thought made my stomach twist.
I couldn’t help imagining Aggie’s family, and her fans, and Aggie herself, and wondering what they’d think if they saw this. They’d probably believe I was doing it in some weird bid to stay relevant, to get back in front of people’s eyeballs, when all I wanted to do was disappear.
Feeling sick, I read Hadley’s final messages.
HADLEY: Okay, so I know this is probably the last thing you wanted, and you have every right to be angry and I’m mad on your behalf but also…
HADLEY: A tiny part of me is really happy that you found a girl in all of this?
HADLEY: How long have you been together? And how dare you keep it a secret from me?
HADLEY: Jk, I know you keep secrets like breathing but anyway. I’m happy for you, dude
I scrolled back up to the first link and looked at the picture again, then exhaled.
There was a tiny silver lining. While it was very clearly me in that picture, Gus’s face was mostly obscured. Between the angle of the shot, and the earflaps on his hat, and the fact that he had delicate features to begin with—well, if you didn’t know I was kissing a man in that picture, you’d be forgiven for thinking I was kissing a woman.
And while I didn’t like the idea of having to hide my sexuality again, it was a lucky break. Because people were after Gus. People who knew he was in the area. But if they hadn’t gotten a good look at me last night—if their attention had been focused on him—then maybe they wouldn’t realize he was staying with me.
Which meant I had to do everything in my power to encourage that misconception.
I closed my eyes and remembered how injured Gus had been when I’d first found him. How scared. He hadn’t