transform to butterflies in my stomach.
I wrap my free arm around his waist. I move to deepen the kiss, and I’m in heaven as everything I’ve dreamed of seems to be happening right before me...but then he stops abruptly, taking my hopes with his sudden stop.
The butterflies settle as a nervous dread drops in their place.
Will he ever be okay with this? Will he ever be able to move forward with me?
He takes a step back.
“Dammit,” he mutters, and then he turns on his heel and walks away.
My heart aches that he cut and ran.
I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I know what’s going through my mind.
I want him. It’s love and want and need all balled into one huge knot in my stomach, and that kiss did nothing but exacerbate the issue.
I give him a few minutes to cool down before I attempt to look for him. In the meantime, I thumb through the books on the bookshelf. I open the closet in the playroom only to find it stacked with toys for kids ages two, three, and four.
I can’t believe everything he thought of.
His house went from a rock star’s paradise to move-in ready for the two of us overnight.
I go back to “my” room one more time. I just stand in the doorway and look in. He’s accepting me into his life in the way he’s comfortable with right now, and I’m unbelievably grateful for that. But how long can we stay here? How long until he wants to date someone else? Or until I do?
It’s been an hour, and I get that. These things take time.
But we’ve been walking a tightrope all this time, and just when we were about to meet somewhere in the middle, the line snapped.
We can only repair it so many times until it’s irreparable.
CHAPTER 40
TYLER
I collapse on the couch by the fireplace out on the patio.
I had to get away from her. I had to breathe in some fresh air. I needed the tranquility that I find here on my patio.
I was surprised by the level of emotion I felt at each new discovery she made in my home. I’ve worked hard to transform it into our home over the last few days even though I had no idea how she’d feel about it, and then I had to go and fuck it all up by kissing her.
I couldn’t help it. It was a natural urge to press my lips to hers.
But I stopped because of Lexi’s words. Once upon a time she told me to wait until Dani wasn’t married anymore before I decided anything, and instead of listening to a good friend’s advice, I jumped the gun. I told Dani to move in with me...but it’s because I’m trying to put the focus on Luna, as Lexi also advised me to do. It’s the only solution where the two of us will each have unlimited access to our daughter, and if that’s what I want, then I need to get over what Dani did.
I kissed her because I was overwhelmed with feelings for her. I stopped for the same reason.
The timing isn’t right. Sex with her—which surely would’ve happened if I would’ve kept kissing her, because let’s face it, I’m so goddamn attracted to her that I can’t help myself—wouldn’t have been right. We need time and space. She has healing to do, and I do, too.
So, for now at least, giving her a room of her own in my place seemed like the best way to heal together. And then, when and if the time feels right for both of us again, we can press onward.
She slides onto the couch across from where I’m lying.
“You okay?” she asks softly.
“Yeah,” I grunt, and then I prop myself up on my elbow and face her. “No.”
“Me either,” she admits. She lies across the couch and mirrors my position.
“We both need some time, I guess,” I say. “I need to know I can trust you again. You need to heal from your divorce.”
“Should we watch some history channel?” she asks.
I laugh. “What do you want, Dani?” I ask softly.
“You,” she says immediately. She sits up. “I want to erase the last two years and rewind to when I first found out I was pregnant. I want to tell you over the phone because fuck waiting to tell you in person. You deserved to know as soon as I did.”
“Thank you,” I murmur. I think I needed to hear that more