know Tyler has the means to help set his daughter and her mother up, but I don’t have those means, and I won’t ask him for a handout. I don’t want his money.
I just want him.
Diana’s house is closer to Tyler’s than my parents’ place, where Luna and I have been staying. It’s complicated and messy, but as I return to my parents’ house after an afternoon and evening with Tyler, I’m exhausted both emotionally and physically. He invited us to stay at his place, but he doesn’t have the things we need—like a crib, or a bathtub that isn’t extravagant and too deep to bathe a baby, or a highchair for meals.
And despite my exhaustion, there’s still one more conversation I need to have...and it’s another one I’m dreading.
Once Luna’s asleep, and my parents are too, I head out to the back patio. My parents live in a quiet neighborhood close to a beach, and I can smell the sea from here. It’s calming. This is the house where I grew up, and I never thought I’d leave this area.
Until I met Nathan Russo.
I had a job at a small theater where I managed ushers, and I didn’t love it, but I was working my way up. I was waiting for someone else to shift a position so I could move into hers, and then Nathan told me he had randomly applied for his dream job at a brewery in Milwaukee. He got the job. It was a huge pay increase over what he was making in his sales position in California, and it was also at the place that brewed his favorite beer.
I wasn’t super attached to my job, but leaving my family was a little more difficult. He convinced me, though, and I did it for love.
A love that wasn’t meant to be, because we’d only been in Milwaukee two years before he dumped me. He didn’t want to marry me. He didn’t see me in his forever even though he’d given me a ring saying the opposite.
I shake the memories of Nate away and pull up Ford’s number. I click it before I lose my nerve.
“Hi,” he answers. “She go down okay?”
“Yeah,” I say. It breaks my heart that his first concern is of his daughter.
His step-daughter, I correct myself.
“She was exhausted. Big beach day.” And other things.
How do I broach this? How do I even bring this up?
I draw in a deep breath of that sea air, and it calms me.
Pull off the bandage, right? Just do it. Just say the words. He needs to know that everything is about to change.
“Tyler found out today,” I blurt.
My statement is met with silence, so I press on.
“We went to this restaurant for lunch and ran into him. I wasn’t going to tell him yet, but he saw me holding her, and I told him the truth.”
“Oh,” Ford says. “How’d he take it?” His voice is quiet as he braces for the impact.
“Not well at first. He’s angry with me.”
“Does he...” He clears his throat. “Does he want a part of her life?”
“Yes.” It feels good to finally be telling the truth even though it’s painful for everyone involved. I never should have kept this secret. I never should have lied. But I can’t change it. All I can do is look forward and try to fix it.
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry, Ford. We’ll figure this out. You will always be an important part of her life.”
“Right.” He’s quiet for a beat, and then he asks, “So who is it, Danielle? Him or me?” He’s angry, and I get that. I just don’t know if he’s asking whether it’s him or me for Luna or for myself.
I guess it doesn’t matter what he means. The answer’s the same.
I blow out a breath. “I, um...”
I can’t beat around the bush. We won’t escape any of this unscathed, but the best way to handle it is open, frank honesty. He’s well aware of my feelings for Tyler, and even though my confession shouldn’t come as a surprise, it’ll still hurt.
“I slept with him.”
I’m about to add that I’m sorry, and I shouldn’t have done that when I’m still married, and other words that might help alleviate some of the pressure on my chest even though I know they won’t, but I don’t get the chance.
“Okay, well I guess we’ll talk when you get home.” He hangs up, and all the emotions flitting around me finally crash together. I cry as I try