do now.
It’s a strange, intrinsic feeling that washes over me as I look at the girl in Dani’s arms. I’ve never felt a love like it before. It’s different from what I feel—felt?—for Dani. It’s overwhelming how much I already care for her even though I don’t know a damn thing about her.
Dani doesn’t step out onto the balcony with the baby, instead glancing nervously at the iron railing.
“It’s safe,” I say.
She steps out.
“Hi Luna,” I say, eyes focused in on the little girl. My eyes edge to Dani. I’ve only heard why she did what she did. I don’t know how we go forward. Do I tell this little girl I’m her daddy? Would she even understand those words? Do I tell her my name’s Tyler?
Her daddy. Jesus.
There’s a lot to unpack here.
I need to sit.
I move toward one of the lounge chairs.
“Do you want to hold her again?” Dani asks.
I nod, and she walks toward me and sets her down on my lap. I bounce my knees a little, and Luna giggles. I do it some more, but I’m careful—I’ve heard that never shake a baby thing and I don’t know how rough I can be even though she seems to like it. I feel like there will be about a million questions I don’t know the answers to, and the only way I’ll learn is to ask. “Does she like bouncing?”
Dani smiles. “The harder the better.”
“Kind of like her mama,” I mutter, and I can’t believe the words actually slipped out of my mouth. It’s fine. It’s not like the baby understands my words or gets my sex joke.
Dani clears her throat as an uncomfortable silence beats between us. I focus on Luna.
“What does she eat?” I ask.
“She can eat basically anything we do, just cut smaller,” she says. She sits on the chair beside me as she watches us. “But she’s picky. She’ll eat Goldfish crackers or Cheerios any time of the day or night, but if I give her a piece of chicken? Forget it. It’ll end up on the floor.”
“I like Goldfish, too,” I tell Luna.
“Sh-sh-sh,” Luna says, and Dani reaches into her bag and pulls out a little cup with a lid. She pulls off the lid and hands two Goldfish to Luna, who shoves them eagerly in her mouth.
“Sh-sh-sh means Goldfish?” I ask.
Dani nods, further confirmation of what I’ve missed out on. Dani speaks her language, while I assumed the kid was telling me to be quiet.
She points to the cup for more, and she gets more.
She gets down, and she walks over toward the railing. Dani leaps up and grabs her even though the construction is sound and the bars are spaced so that there’s no way possible she’d be able to get through.
I see the protective, fierce mama bear inside this woman. It’s in the way she holds her close, in the way she looks down at her with so much love in her eyes.
She’s a good mother. A great one. She did what she thought she had to do to protect this child, and as I watch them together, I kind of start to get it.
Dani’s trying to find a way to rectify things now. I’m just not sure whether there’s anything left to salvage between the two of us.
As I look into Luna’s eyes, though...I can’t help but think maybe I need to dig really, really deep to find the answer to that. Because when I look at her, I want to give her everything. I want to make her giggle. I want to do what I can to keep her happy. I want to provide for her and for the person most important to her in the universe—her mother.
And if that little girl would be happier if her dad forgave her mom, or even with her mom and dad together, then maybe I need to find a way to get past what Dani did.
I just don’t even know how to begin to see past the hurt and anger she’s caused with her secrets and lies.
CHAPTER 34
DANIELLE
Diana and Weston have offered me their guest room, and they set up their workout room with Gracie’s old crib for Luna so she can have her own bedroom while we search for a place of our own in California. My personal budget is tight considering my husband took my job from me, so they’ve been gracious enough to tell me I can stay with them as long as I want. I