anything about babies or being a father, but when I hold her and her little green eyes meet mine, I know what love actually is. I know when her tiny hand grips mine, my heart expands.”
She presses her lips together. “I feel like nobody knows anything about being a parent, but you sort of figure it out as you navigate through it. What about the mom? Your girl?” she asks.
“I love her,” I whisper. “I’ve loved her since I was a teenager, and I lost that chance and thought I’d been granted another one, but my career and my own choices and her actions fucked all that up. Jesus, I’m so goddamn in love with her...but how can I be with someone who kept such a monster secret from me? How do I ever trust her again?”
Lexi swipes at her cheek, and my brows dip down.
“Are you crying?” I ask.
She chuckles. “A little. I just...Gosh, Tyler. You’re so in love with her that it’s making me emotional. You’re a different guy than you were the last time I saw you. So much more...I don’t know. Grown up. Genuine.”
“So what do I do?” I ask...or maybe I beg. I need an answer here because I don’t know what the hell the right thing to do is.
She shrugs. “You can’t change the past, Tyler. Neither can she. It sounds like she’s trying to fix it. Like she’s trying to move forward and give you the chance to be there now. You have to decide if she’s worth it. Can you get over the past or do you need to look for a way to move on?” She says it like it’s so simple, and maybe it is. Maybe she’s right.
“The thought of being with her hurts, but the thought of being without her hurts more.”
“Is she still married?” she asks.
I nod and press my lips together.
“Then you wait until she isn’t before you decide anything,” she says. “When the time is right, if you still want it, you fight for it. For now, put your focus on your daughter. Get to know her, and look for ways to build trust with her mom. Give her opportunities to prove herself. If it’s right, time will heal it just like time heals everything.”
I know she’s right. But none of that sounds easy. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to take my time here. I’ve been in love with Danielle Watson since I was seventeen years old.
I’ve waited long enough.
CHAPTER 37
TYLER
Can you get over the past or do you need to look for a way to move on?
Lexi posed a great question to me a few days ago, and it continues to replay in my mind. Her question holds the key to my entire future, and as I’ve pondered her words to me over and over again since she said them, I think I’ve arrived at my answer.
She told me I have to decide if Dani is worth it.
She is.
Luna is, too.
I want them in my life, and I want Dani as more than a co-parent. It’ll take time. It’ll be up to her to find ways to rebuild my trust. But they’re both worth it, so I’m willing to work with them.
And it’s with that thought in mind that I tell Tommy and Brett I need to talk to them.
“What’s going on, man?” Tommy asks once the three of us are sitting at the kitchen table.
“I’m asking Dani and Luna to move in here,” I blurt.
Tommy and Brett glance at each other. “So you’re back together?” Tommy asks.
I shake my head, and then I blow out a breath. “No. Not yet. But I want to be with my daughter, so I’m going to have to find a way to be around her, too. I can’t ask her to just drop Luna off here when she’s been her primary caretaker for her entire life.”
“Are you kicking us out?” Tommy asks lightly. His tone is teasing rather than angry, and I let out a small breath of relief.
“I’m not entirely sure your morning conquest farewell routine is appropriate for a kid to witness,” I say to Tommy. I nod toward Brett. “Or your penchant for swearing at Call of Duty. Or either of you getting high on my patio.”
They both laugh. “You should probably limit your cheap scotch intake, too,” Brett points out.
“You might also want to work on that whole thing where you never put away cereal boxes when you take them out