at all. His real body is far more vibrant than the silly things I drew with a pencil and paper.
He climbs onto the bed. Guilt burns in his eyes, and heaven help me, I reach for him anyway. I guide him on top of me, and his body relaxes—the full weight of him grounding me into the mattress.
“Lu, I could never be your alpha—”
I kiss him. Sam underestimates me. I’m an artist. I can take one beautiful moment and recreate it a million times. All I need is one hour of happiness.
His body rocks into me. He’s so big, I become lost in the delicious soft and hard of his body and the fusion of gentle and urgent in his touch. He runs his hands along my skin, and it’s like being painted with a brush of pleasure. Every stroke makes me come alive.
He paints my chest, my stomach, my legs, and then, oh.
“Your cock is lovely, Lu. I didn’t realize how breathtaking you’d be.”
His praise makes my chest feel too big for my ribs. He strokes me as gently as he kisses me. I close my eyes and try to hold back the tears. He’s too wonderful. I can’t stand it.
“Are you okay?” he says, letting go of my cock and resting his body atop mine again.
“Yes.” I won’t tell him that I’ve had sex with dozens of men, and none of them touched me like this. He already feels sorry for me, and he doesn’t need to know. “I’ve been tested since my last partner, and I can’t get pregnant outside my heat. Will you take me bare?”
When I’m with him, I don’t want there to be anything between us.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
I nod and pull my knees up. Unlike Cinderella, I don’t know when this spell will be over. At some point Sam is going to wake up from his lust and leave. I want to feel him inside of me before that happens.
He locks eyes with me as his hand reaches between us and caresses my cock, my balls, and lower where I’m wet for him.
Sam is touching me. He doesn’t look away for even a moment as he traces my entrance the way he traced my face. So slow. So tender. When he presses a finger inside, I suck in a breath.
“I shouldn’t—” he says, pulling away.
I grab his shoulders with a desperation I wish he couldn’t see. I’m embarrassing myself. “Please, Sam. I’ll… I’ll do anything.”
He searches my face. “But we could never—”
“I know. Please. I’ll stretch myself if you want. I don’t mind.”
He kisses me and starts massaging my entrance again. “No.”
This time his finger presses all the way inside me. His fingers are like his body—big. It takes me a moment to adjust. It’s been so long. Since before Mary. I wonder if I feel the same. Maybe I’m not as tight as I used to be. I hope he isn’t disappointed.
I want this to feel good for him.
“Is it… I mean, am I…”
He nuzzles the crook of my neck as he withdraws and pushes in two fingers. “Perfect. You’re perfect.”
His fingers aren’t moving in and out, but around. He presses against my prostate, and I arch against him.
“Oh, Lu. God help me.” The desperation in his voice tears into my heart. He wishes he didn’t want me so badly. A part of me wants to apologize—to tell him that he can pretend I’m whoever he wants. But a more selfish part of me doesn’t want to share this moment with his dead mate. I want him to be mine for just a few minutes.
“I want you,” I say. Once his cock is inside me, he’ll get caught up in the moment again.
Sam shakes his head. “I haven’t prepped you enough.”
“Yes, you have. I’ll be fine. Please.”
He seems unsure, but suddenly his fingers are gone, and I feel him at my entrance. I’m going to have Sam inside me. Sam, who bought my daughter clothes and got us food. Sam, who loves my artwork and is a wonderful father to his children. Sam, who’s handsome and kind.
My brother Axel is always telling me that I pick the wrong men. I didn’t this time.
Sam fills me inch by inch. Whatever rumors I’ve heard before about alpha penguin shifters having smaller dicks are completely wrong. It’s been so long since I had sex, I can barely take him.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, don’t stop.” He can’t leave now, right? Not until he comes.
“We can wait