kindling and twigs. If I can prove to Sam that being with me will make him happy, maybe he’ll let me have a bonding necklace.
And maybe, just maybe, he’ll let me be a bigger part of his life.
17
Sam
Jesse looks out the frosted windows of Kincaid Chalet. The back window stretches wider than our entire house and three times taller. Right now, the view is all snow and ice, with the exception of a few bare, spindly trees dotting the landscape.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” I say.
Jesse nods.
The party hall behind us is packed with tables and chairs, all covered in pink and yellow for the upcoming gender reveal party today. Pink for girl and yellow for omega. Jesse’s colors will be blue and white—the color of Lu’s lacy underwear last night.
But that is not what I should be thinking about right now. I need to focus on Jesse and stop obsessing about what I could have done differently so Lu wasn’t so devastated by me leaving this morning.
“We don’t have to make a big deal of it,” Jesse says.
“Of the place? Do you not like it?”
“No. It’s fine. I meant my gender reveal. We should just do the party at our house like the Thompsons.”
The Thompsons are Gentoos. It’s not uncommon for Gentoos to host their gender reveal parties at home. But we’re Emperor penguin shifters. A big party with lots of presents and formal attire is the norm, and most kids want that. I know I did. I looked forward to my gender reveal party for years.
I sit on one of the metal chairs and gesture for Jesse to sit across from me. They do it, but keep their eyes on the floor.
“Will you tell me what’s going on?” I ask.
“Nothing’s going on. It just seems like a stupid thing to celebrate. Almost all of my friends have already been revealed as omegas. I won’t be able to see them without a chaperone after this. And then I have to go searching for a rock? Why? It’s stupid that we can’t just date like humans.” They lean back into their chair and fold their arms across their chest.
Jesse’s always been my easy kid. I don’t know how to react to this outburst.
“You think Pebble Gifting Season is stupid?” I ask.
They shrug. “Well, isn’t it? You choose your mate based on a bunch of statistics on a piece of paper. How can you really get to know somebody based on that? Lee’s parents basically hate each other. Too bad their alpha dad’s Pebble Gifting Portfolio didn’t mention he was a jerk.”
I take in a deep breath. Jesse’s right. There are limitations to Pebble Gifting Season. But it’s the best way to find a penguin shifter mate. If Jesse doesn’t participate, they’ll be stuck in a dating pool with all of the Pebble Gifting Season rejects.
“It isn’t all about the statistics, Jess. The connection an alpha and omega share through their pebble is special.”
They roll their eyes. “Yeah, Dad. I know.”
Since when did my sweet kid start rolling their eyes? I don’t understand what’s caused this change of heart.
I try to remember how I felt when I was twelve and on the cusp of my gender reveal. I was excited to have a party, but in general, it wasn’t my favorite year. All of the social changes that came with being transferred to alpha-only classrooms were difficult for me.
“Are you worried about making new alpha friends?”
They stiffen and refuse to look at me, but they don’t say no.
“When I was your age I was worried about that too. It seemed like all the other alphas were into sports or had a lot more confidence than me. I was this really awkward nerd, and I was afraid I would never measure up.”
Jesse’s mouth quirks into a reluctant smile. “You were a nerd?”
“The biggest nerd ever. I read fantasy novels and obsessed over role playing games and everything.”
Jesse’s smile inches wider. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. I know being an alpha can seem really intimidating at first, but it doesn’t mean you have to be a meat head or aggressive.”
Their face falls. “Can we go home? This place is fine. We don’t really need to see the others.”
What did I say wrong? I’m missing something here, and I don’t know how to get Jesse to talk to me.
“Okay. It’s your party. You get to choose.”
They stand up and turn away from me.
“I love you, Jess. You know, that right?”
They head for the door without even glancing back.
18
Sam
Jesse stays