his ass to give me a better look.
God. I’d give anything to touch him right now. To claim him. This is pure, sweet torture.
“Oh, Lu. Will you… would it be weird if I asked you to…”
He twists his body maintaining eye contact with me while he reaches back and presses one of his fingers to his entrance.
I hold my breath as he slowly pushes it inside.
“Do you… want to touch yourself?” He’s moving his finger around. I want to drive over there and replace his finger with my cock. Jesse’s twelve and the other kids are asleep. It would be fine, wouldn’t it?
But what would I say to Jesse? I need to go fuck my second mate I haven’t told you about?
I can’t do that.
“Is it alright? If I touch myself?” I ask.
He nods. “Maybe… you could take off your shirt?”
“Do you want me to?” I have a big, hairy belly. And I don’t have anything sexy or fun to dress it up either.
“Yes. I’d love to see you,” he says. “You’re my mate.”
This sounds like our conversation last night about his bear form.
I guess when it comes to size, we’re both more self-conscious than we need to be.
When I pull off my shirt, Lu’s eyes glaze over with lust. He withdraws his finger, and slides two inside himself this time. “Touch yourself, Sam. I want to see.”
I unzip my jeans and pull my underwear down. It feels a little awkward to tilt the laptop down so he can see my hard cock, but Lu whispers, “Yes. Please touch yourself.”
He pushes his fingers deeper, and a glistening drop of slick rolls down his hands.
I want to lick it. Maybe it was the conversation about oral, or maybe it’s because I feel this wonderful freedom with Lu.
“If I was there…” I start, not sure if I can say it aloud.
Lu goes still, waiting for me to continue.
“Would you like me to taste you?”
His eyes close. “Oh, yes.” He widens his hips, stretching the ribbons. His other hand grabs for his cock.
“You look so beautiful.”
“Tell me what you want to do to me, Sam. You’re a writer.” He begins to rock his hips. How can I speak while he does that? How can I even think?
“I want to untie the ribbons,” I say.
He yanks at the bows, and the entire contraption goes loose.
“I’d want to be inside you, Lu. All in one thrust. All at once.”
He moans and withdraws his fingers, only to slam three of them inside.
I grab my cock and give it a good pull. But I’m careful. After so many years of celibacy, Lu always gets me too hot too fast.
“I’d grab the ribbons and pull them tight.” Once the words start coming, I can’t stop them. “Like reins. Then I’d drive my cock into you hard.”
Lu’s fingers are moving frantically, his body tensing.
“But thrusting into you wouldn’t be enough. I’d expand inside you, Lu. I’d fill you. Breed you.”
Lu’s breath is coming in gasps now.
“My knot would stretch you so wide, you’d panic at first. But you can take me. I know you can take me.”
His body trembles. I can see his ass spasm around his fingers. Slick leaks out.
“Go on, Sam. Pretend it’s me squeezing you tight. I need to see you come. Please.”
Once I have permission, all it takes is a few strokes, and I’m coming in front of him—his eyes hungry for the spurts of cum that spill all over my hand. God knows I’ve gotten off with my right hand plenty of times in the last four years. But this is different. This is a surge of pleasure that I don’t ever feel by myself.
Because I’m not by myself.
Lu lies down contentedly on his bed, closing his eyes. If only I could hold him in my arms.
“I miss you,” I say.
He fishes for something underneath his pillow, holding up so I can see it.
My pebble.
He presses it to his chest. “I miss you too.”
The pull to press it to my chest too is unbearable. How are we going to continue on like this?
“Sam?” Lu says quietly.
“Yeah?”
“I want a necklace for the pebble. It can be a long chain so no one will know.”
My children would know. They’ve grown up seeing those necklaces.
“We can’t, Lu. I’m sorry.”
He curls in on himself.
The worst part is, I don’t think Allen would have ever tolerated this. He would have demanded that I be with him properly, or not at all. The only reason why any of this is