table, unloading one that appears to be all frozen meat and vegetables. That will feed us for weeks. One of the bags has milk, eggs, and butter. I could bake cookies with Mary. But the third bag leaves me speechless.
He bought me paper and paint—the kind I requested when we started our project together. He agreed to pay for the supplies because I couldn’t afford them at the time. He even bought me brushes.
“Oh, Sam. You didn’t have to.”
He keeps unloading the groceries in a rush. He probably wants to get out of my house—get away from me.
One bag is full of little outfits for Mary. There’s an adult sweater in there too. It’s wonderfully soft and light blue. It’s exactly the kind of thing I’d pick out for myself if I had money to spend on my own clothes. When Sam pulls it out, his face flushes pink. “I’m sorry. I thought you might like it. I know it’s not my place…”
I step closer to him, even though I shouldn’t. “You’re so kind. Thank you. You have no idea what this means to us.”
I expect him to move away. We’re standing less than two feet from each other. But he stays perfectly still. He drags his eyes along my body, the way he always does—like he’s drinking me in.
“Penguin shifters are supposed to stay true to their mates, even if they die,” he says, as if I don’t know.
“Okay.”
“I shouldn’t be here. I was just going to drop the stuff off. The kids are with my in-laws.”
“Okay.”
He moves closer to me. Not by much, but the space between us has its own energy now. “I love my mate.”
I nod. There’s never been any doubt. His devotion to his mate is one of the things I respect about him.
He leans forward, until our lips are only inches away from each other. “But I… you’re… it’s just…”
He may love his mate, but I don’t have a mate, and this is my last chance. I close the gap between our lips and press mine against his. It’s like flipping a switch. Suddenly, his arms are around me, and he opens his lips, thrusting his tongue inside my mouth. My knees buckle. All I can do is open for him. All I can do is hold my breath as he moans.
“You’re beautiful, Lu,” he whispers, planting kisses on my cheek and jaw. I squeeze my eyes shut. His lips are so soft, and his stubble rubs against me in the best way. “Do you ever think about me like this?” he asks, his arms tightening around me, until our bodies are pressed against each other, and I’m encased in the warmth of his embrace.
“Yes,” I whisper. “Oh, yes.”
He’s kissing my mouth again—gently this time. Exactly like all my fantasies. We savor each other, our tongues and lips moving with an achingly wonderful slowness. Polar bear shifter alphas can be so demanding, but Sam kisses me the way you’d kiss someone who was special to you.
He pulls away ever-so-slightly. Just far enough so he can trace my face with his fingers. I close my eyes as he traces my nose, my cheeks, my forehead.
“If I wasn’t taken…”
He’s telling me why he can’t offer me anything. He doesn’t understand that no alpha has ever offered me much. If I could just have his body. Just once. That would be enough.
I grasp his fingers that are following the line of my jaw and take in a deep breath. Maybe if we don’t talk about what’s going to happen next, he won’t leave. After sketching him in my bed so many times, I need to see him there. Mary will sleep for at least another hour.
I tug on his hand, leading him back to my room. I’ve never believed in the Gods my fathers worshipped, but I pray to them anyway. I’ll be a good father, a good brother, a good everything, if I can have this one thing.
Sam follows me.
Once we’re inside my room, it’s so easy. I close the door, taking off my sweater and yanking down my pants. I lie on my bed and beg him to join me with my eyes. He takes off his sweater to reveal a hairy chest and generous belly. His pants come off next to reveal legs are thick and as hairy as his chest and a cock that’s hard and long, veering off to one side. I’m glad I burned my drawings, because they didn’t capture him