I have a fated mate, and I have to be his dirty little secret?
“We could move away,” I suggest, even though I know it will never happen. “If we lived in another state, no one would have to know. We could sleep next to each other every night and raise our children together. I’d do my best to make you happy.”
He looks away from me. “But my children. They’ve already lost so much.”
Right. I can’t forget about Jesse, Parker, and Morgan. They deserve better than that.
“Okay. After Morgan’s Pebble Gifting Season. We can be mates then.” In fifteen years when I’m forty and Mary is seventeen.
It seems so far away right now, it’s hard to imagine.
Sam takes both of my hands and brings them to his mouth, kissing each of them. “We can be mates now. Just not openly. I’ve already spoken to my omega father and floated the idea of needing some time each week away from the children. He offered to let my children sleep over at his house on Saturday nights, which means we’ll have one night a week together. I can come after Mary goes to bed, and leave before she wakes up. We can be open with our children about our friendship, and share meals together as a family a few times a week. Sometimes I have to go out of town for work. I could take you with me. We can stay connected through phone calls, text messages, and Skype. Once my children are done with their winter break, I can come over during Mary’s naps too. We can also merge our finances without telling anyone else. I’m not a rich man, but I have enough to keep us both comfortable.”
That does sound nice. Like a real relationship.
“Okay.”
He leans forward and presses his forehead to mine. “I promise to give you everything I can right now. I know it’s not ideal, but if we love each other, don’t you think we can make it work?”
I don’t know, so I kiss him. There are so many things that could go wrong. Mary could sneak into my room when Sam is in my bed. His children could suspect something from all of the family dinners. Someone could overhear one of our Skype calls. But I want the kind of relationship he’s offering, and I’m willing to take the risk if he is.
What other choice do we have? We’re fated. We have to do something.
He kisses me back gently, and everything but the warmth of his lips fades away. It feels so good to kiss him with his pebble in my hand. He’s my alpha—the man of my dreams. And he wants to be with me.
But he pulls away. “I’m sorry, I can’t stay. I left my kids at the neighbor’s house. They have kids around the same age. But it’s getting late, and I need to get back. I just had to let you know what this afternoon meant to me, and ask if you’d be mine. Tomorrow night my children will be going to their grandpas’ house. I can come around eight? Bring takeout? What’s your favorite?”
Tomorrow night isn’t so far away. And I get to have Sam all night long. I get to sleep next to him.
“Sushi. Well, if you like sushi.”
He grins. “I haven’t met a penguin shifter who didn’t love sushi. Maybe… you’d consider eating fish from my fish-sharing tray? It’s a Pebble Gifting Season thing. A tradition.”
Sam and his traditions.
“Of course. I’d love to.”
He gives me a quick kiss, then stands. “Tomorrow then.”
I jump up and follow him to the door. “Tomorrow.”
He pulls me close and gives me a hug so tight I can’t breathe. “Oh, Lu. You have no idea how happy I am right now. I never thought I’d feel this good again.”
Again. Because he already had a mate—one that he got to be with.
But that’s fine. I don’t care. Even if it’s just in secret, Sam is mine.
“I never thought I’d get to have this either,” I tell him honestly.
At that point he has to leave me. But his pebble doesn’t.
I clutch it to my chest when I sleep that night—where it would go if I could proudly wear it on a necklace for all to see.
It feels good there.
12
Lu
The next morning I wake to a text message from Sam.
Eagerly awaiting tonight. I love you.
My stomach flips. I’ve never been with a man who sent me a text message just to tell me he loved me.
I almost float