“I understand about the relaxing part, but you said that was only part of it.”
Nodding, I took a sip of my water and tried to organize my random thoughts. “I know we haven’t known each other long, but I see you as a friend and I would hate to do something to make my friend Leon frustrated or worried or upset in general. I like doing things with you, no matter if I’m little or not.”
A smile barely peeked out from his lips. “I see you as a friend as well. I don’t foresee any problems no matter what title you would’ve chosen for me.”
He was so funny.
“But how did it feel when I called you Daddy?” I cut another bite of my omelet. “I liked it. I already see you that way, but I need to know how it feels to you.”
As I took a bite, he nodded. “Yes, that would probably be the first thing we need to iron out before we can discuss anything else.”
What else did he want to discuss?
I could think of a thousand things, but where was his mind at?
Admitting that it needed to be ironed out didn’t seem to mean he was ready to tell me how he felt, though. He took another bite and dragged it out for several minutes. When he probably thought he couldn’t drag his feet any longer, he set his fork down.
“I think I liked the title. It felt…warm isn’t the most descriptive word, but I don’t really have a better one.” He glanced over at me and his expression seemed like he was ready to defend his word choice.
I smiled. “I like warm. Thank you.”
As he relaxed, he picked up his fork again. “Now Destin made it awkwardly clear earlier that sex is not something I want to include in our relationship, but what is your stance on casual touches and cuddling? That seems to be something that littles crave.”
Telling him that I’d give up my trains if he’d hold me sounded a bit desperate, so I nodded and fought to find a simple response. “I would enjoy being held and cuddled but not at the expense of your emotional comfort. I’m not the only one in this relationship. My Daddy has to be happy too.”
We kept using the word relationship…but what did that really mean?
I was the happiest I’d been in a long time, so I wasn’t going to push for more, but every time we took one step forward it opened more questions.
“I’m not averse to touch or cuddling. In the past that seemed to be a direct path to additional sexual contact, which doesn’t appeal to me most of the time.” Leon paused long enough to take a drink of water. “Destin is very tactile, but our relationship never progressed to anything else.”
Why?
Fuck it, I decided to just ask. “Why?”
He turned toward me with a confused expression that took a few seconds to clear. “Oh, why did we not become more than friends?”
My nod was enough to keep him talking.
“Destin is very…active and it’s exhausting sometimes.” He was watching me closely, probably to see if I was going to judge him for that, but since I agreed with him, I just waited. “I never saw him as more than a friend.”
He made a casual gesture with his fork, waving it around as he spoke. “Yes, a close one that I sometimes touch more than I would others, but not in a romantic sense. I think on some level the way he charged into exploring BDSM and kinks made me uncomfortable, so that probably affected things.”
There was a slight pause as he nodded, but he kept going. “But I’m happy with the way our friendship developed. He calls me his family or sometimes his brother. That’s all he’s ever been.”
“If you’re going to be my Daddy and we both acknowledge that, then it’s going to push toward something that’s more than friendship.” Not wanting him to misunderstand, I hurried to continue my rambling explanation. “I’m not saying sex. I’m saying intimate and close. There’s no way around that if you’re going to be cuddling me and really be my Daddy.”
“Yes.” He took another bite of his food before pushing back his plate. “No matter how we define our respective roles and what I’m supposed to be in charge of, there will be a certain level of intimacy and personal touch.”
I really wanted to ask him to define personal touch, but he didn’t seem to need