kind.” He sighed. “And it struck me that I was changing, and I didn’t recognize who I was. I’d never wanted to be the protector or the lover or the mate of someone long-term. I’d never wanted to be in that role. But when I looked at you, I realized that I could see myself in that role, and I barely knew you, at least not in time duration. I felt like I’d known you all my life. We just have that something special.”
“I know.” I smiled at him. “I feel it too.”
“And so that’s why I asked you for one more date because even though I knew I shouldn’t see you again, I had to see you again.”
“Yeah. And then we did one more date after that.”
“You know why I took you to the cabin, Gemma?”
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to see how it felt to have you there in my special place. I wanted to see if I felt like you were encroaching or if I felt like you made it even more special.”
“And?” I said softly.
“You made it so much more special,” he said and he groaned. “You make everything in my life mean so much more. Do you know why I sent you that text message the other day?”
“What text message?”
“The text message about the girls wanting to go on dates.”
“Oh, that text message.” I rolled my eyes. “No, why?”
“Because I wanted to make you jealous. I wanted you to respond and say, ‘Hell, no. You can’t go on any dates. Hell, no. I’m not okay with it.’ But you didn’t respond at all, and I thought to myself, ‘Maybe this isn’t real for her. Maybe this is just about the sex too, and maybe that’s my own fault.’”
“You sent me that message to make me jealous and to make me react?” I looked at him in shock. “Are you joking me?”
“I know. It was really immature and ... “
“Do you know how jealous I was? I turned my phone off for two days.” I shook my head and laughed. “You totally made me so jealous. I was so pissed I cried for what must’ve been hours.”
“You cried?” He sat down and grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I thought you were going on dates with other girls. I thought you were basically telling me you weren’t interested in me whatsoever.”
“I’m dumb.” He made a face. “I’m stupid and I’m dumb, and this is all my fault.”
“It’s not your fault. I just didn’t realize that you cared for me as well.”
“Gemma, I think I’m falling in love with you. I know it’s early and I know it’s soon, and I know I’m the guy that said I don’t do commitments and I don’t want anything long-term. But I think I’m falling in love with you, and I don’t want you to be with anyone else. I can’t see my life with anyone else but you. And whatever you want, if you want to get married, if you want to have a billion kids, I’m okay with that. In fact, I want that. I want to see little Gemmas running around.”
“Oh my God, Connor. Are you serious?” I stared at him in shock and awe.
“Do you not feel the same way?” he said, dejected. “Do you want my brother? Do you want Lucas?”
“No, Connor. That’s why I’m crying. I decided I don’t want anything to do with Lucas. Yes, he’s a great guy and yes, on paper he was everything that I wanted. But he’s not what I wanted. He’s not you. Connor, I love you. I already know that I love you.” I gave him a huge smile. “And I know that, but it probably makes me sound crazy because we haven’t known each other that long and, well, maybe I am a little crazy. But I don’t care because all I think about is you. All I want to be is with you. I love you, and you know what? We can find a compromise if you don’t want to get married, if you don’t want to have kids.”
“No, Gemma. I don’t think you understand. Ever since I met you, my whole mindset has changed. I’m evolving. Love, marriage, that’s something I never believed in because I never believed that you could ever meet someone that you could want to spend the rest of your life getting to know. That you would want to spend the rest of your life spoiling and taking care of. But I want to