the surface in time to see Kirk lunge at Ryan, and then the wrestling was on. Nick cannonballed over them, letting out a yell as he joined the fray. The three dunked each other a few more times until Ryan noticed me watching. He grabbed my ankle, yanking me to him. I felt the slide of his body against mine before he threw me in the air once again.
After that, it was war.
Kirk, Nick, Ryan, and I spent the next hour trying to dunk each other. I was mostly the loser, but every once in a while, I pulled out a surprise and got one of them.
I’d gone from feeling crazy, to wanting to jump Ryan, to almost fighting with Kirk and Nick, to crying, to laughing and playing in the pool.
As skip days go, it was one of the better ones.
After another hour, I pulled myself out. My body was tired, my mind lethargic, and the booze still securing me in a warm fog. That was all I cared about. I padded barefoot to one of the lounge chairs. Two towels were on the end of the chair and I settled back, pulling both on top of me like blankets. I settled in, curling as much into a ball as I could, and watched the guys roughhouse.
At some point a shadow blocked the sun. It was enough to wake me, and I opened my eyes to find Cora frowning down at me.
“You were sleeping?”
I sat up, rubbing a hand over my face. There was a small pounding behind my temples—goddamn tequila. I looked over, but the guys weren’t in the pool anymore. They’d moved to the couches, tossing a basketball back and forth.
“Yeah. I guess.” I skimmed over her, noting her backpack still on and her shirt untucked from her jeans. “What time is it?”
“Almost four.”
“You came over right after school?”
She nodded, studying the guys before letting out a sigh and dropping her backpack to the ground. She sat on the lounge chair beside me but didn’t move to lie down. She stayed on the edge, turned toward me, and kept her eyes on the guys.
I saw the worry lines around her mouth and sat farther up, pulling the towels with me to keep warm. I was a little chilled.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “They in trouble for skipping?”
Her narrowed eyes met mine briefly. “I doubt it. Kirk never gets in trouble for skipping. He never did. Nick’s mom will probably get a call, but she doesn’t really care. If he says it’s because one of the guys had a hard day, she’ll be okay with that. And Ryan . . .” Her bottom lip stuck out farther, and she trailed off.
Aha. I got it. She was worried about Ryan.
“I thought you were okay with me and Ryan?”
Her eyes jerked back to mine, widening slightly. “What?”
“You’re concerned about him.”
“No.” She tugged at her shirtsleeve and then smoothed the ends of her shirt over her pants. “I mean, he skipped the first day because of you, and now he skipped because of Kirk. He went downhill the other year because of him.”
“His friend died.”
“I know, but . . .” She stopped talking, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip.
She didn’t get it. It didn’t make sense to her how grief could be overwhelming. It made more sense to blame Kirk’s influence than Ryan losing a friend.
Fuck. What did she think my problem was?
“It must be nice,” I murmured, resting my head back against the chair.
Her eyes flickered. “What?”
“Not to have lost anyone.”
Her head lowered. “My hamster died when I was twelve.”
Pets could be family members too, but I didn’t assume hers was. She didn’t sound too broken up over it.
Real and genuine jealousy slammed through me. It hit my chest, my heart, my stomach, every single cell in my body—all the way from my toes to my hair. I wanted her life. I wanted it so badly I was almost crying.
I would’ve given up Ryan to have what she had.
“Everyone knows the four of you cut today.”
I was still envisioning life without that pain, so it took a second for those words to register.
It was my turn to frown. “So?”
“So.” She reached up to tighten her ponytail. “Everyone knows you guys skipped.”
I wasn’t following her. “Is that a problem? Or what? I’m not getting what you’re saying.”
“No.” She went back to chewing her bottom lip before shrugging. “Stephanie Witts knows. All the girls, and guys. They wanted me to call them