life that we ended up with. I’m not unhappy.”
“You’re not?” Rose asked.
“I mean,” he said. “At this current moment I could be happier. But I’m... I’m doing something. All right? You know, Sammy said that I was retired. And now I think there’s something to that. And you all think that you’re obligated to me. Because I took care of you, or whatever bullshit. But I think if I would have done more than just sit around here all these years you might not feel that way. I mean, I chose to. I need you all to know that. I don’t feel stuck here. But I did think that maybe picking up a hobby wasn’t the worst idea in the world.”
“That’s good,” Iris said. “Because I think sometimes I do worry about that. I know you’ve dug in and chosen to be here, Ryder. You’re the most responsible man I know, and I do wonder sometimes what you left behind.”
“I’m in the most important life that I could be in. We all sacrificed. We all came together. And no, our lives aren’t the same as if our parents hadn’t died. But we have life. I was thinking... You know, I am not significantly younger than Dad was when he died. And I’m about to become a father myself, whatever happens with Sammy. It would have been impossible to not be affected by their deaths. But we can’t go on living for those deaths forever. Still, I think they would’ve been real proud of what we made here. And there’s not a whole lot more I could ask for than that. That we made something, that we became something that they could’ve been proud of.”
“Dad would have been proud of you,” Rose said. “Because you are the reason we’re still here. You’re the reason the ranch is still here.”
And he was proud of that. But still, it was difficult to feel triumphant when he had all those things but he didn’t have the woman that he loved.
He went in for his interview the next day, and it went well. By that evening, he’d gotten the phone call that he had the job, starting at the end of August. Colt and Jake would be around when the cold settled in. Between them and Logan any work that might get missed by him would be well handled.
It had all happened so quickly, and it wasn’t something that he was particularly able to fully process.
It was all so strange. Had all come out of nowhere. And here he was, living an entirely different life, yet again, than the one that he’d been planning on living.
He was used to grim grit and determination. Used to putting his head down and taking what life had dealt him.
He agreed with Logan on that score. That he needed to get out there and make something of himself, so that he could for sure know that he was in a life he chose.
But he didn’t agree with leaving Sammy alone.
No, he needed to go talk to her. Not because he didn’t trust her. He trusted Sammy. He really did. And he’d had a lot of thinking time over the past few days.
What he wanted to do was make sure that she knew exactly where he was coming from. That she understood what love was to him. And what it truly meant.
Because there had been a lot of talk about love, and he had wondered if she understood what it meant to be loved by him. But he realized he hadn’t explained. He had said that he loved her, and before that he had shown it in a thousand different ways. But in all fairness, she had shown him the same. She had shown him love.
And things had only changed and gotten complicated now.
So he wanted to make sure that it wasn’t just the words, but what those words meant.
They had made vows, but they were generic marriage vows.
Vows that everyone made as they stood up there at that altar.
But he had gotten a ring that was just for Sammy. And he needed to make sure that the vows matched. That the sentiment behind the word love matched.
He knew from Iris that Sammy was still in town, because he knew that his sister had run into her out on the street. But he didn’t think that she was staying in town. No. He was pretty sure he knew right where he would find his wayward bride. And he was bound