to have the baby at home because I want to be able to do it on my terms. I understand that you’re worried about it not being in a hospital, and there not being doctors everywhere. But the last time I went to a hospital it was because my father...” She shook her head. “I don’t want to be there to bring my baby into the world. I get that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to you, but that is how I feel. You have taken care of me for a very long time. Let me do something for you. Let me...”
She stood up and bracketed his face with her hands, then she moved her thumbs to his forehead and began to massage the lines there. “I don’t want to make you more stressed. I want to make you less.” She kissed his lips.
“Yeah, that’s not how this works,” he said. “The caring stuff.”
“Why can’t you just be... I don’t know. You’re so worried about everything all the time.”
“Because everything has been my responsibility for a long damn time. It’s easy for you to say that I worry too much. But if I wasn’t around worrying, who would... Who would do everything? Who would have made sure those kids made it to adulthood? Who would have kept the ranch going? Somebody has to worry.”
Her heart twisted. “Okay. I understand that. Then can you let me be whatever the opposite of that is?”
His dark eyes were serious on hers. “Sunshine,” he said. “It’s sunshine. And you’ve been that for seventeen years. You gave me strength, Sammy. Warmth I didn’t have. Without you... I don’t think I would have made it.”
All of the irritation drained out of her and she stretched up on her toes, kissing him gently on the mouth. “Thank you.”
He grabbed her hands and took them from his face, then squeezed them. “You’re welcome. And it’s true. I will be willing to do extensive research on this home birth thing.”
“I guess coming from you that’s a compromise.”
“It’s probably as good as you’re gonna get.”
“I don’t know. We’ll see about that.”
“Marriage is about compromise,” Ryder said.
“And in this case, compromise is probably going to mean one of us just not getting what they want.”
“Don’t test me.”
She laughed. “Honey, there is baby-naming to do. Is this the hill you want to die on?”
“Surely you wouldn’t...”
“Rain. River. Forrest. Sunshine.”
“Shit.”
“Minerva. Severus. Luna.”
“No.”
“Frodo.”
“No.”
“You only get so many vetoes in the birthing process, my friend. I’m just saying, use them wisely. Or your son may grow up to believe his one true quest is to throw a magic ring into a volcano.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t even get that reference.”
He was a liar. And she loved it. “The sad thing for you is I know you do get the reference. Because you spent time in my company.”
“You can’t do that to a child.”
“Yes, I can. That’s the beauty of being the mother. It will teach him to stand firm in his individuality from a very early age.”
“It will teach them how to take a punch to the face.”
“Well, one must learn that, too.”
“You wouldn’t really.”
“Wouldn’t I?”
“I said I would research it.”
“Wonderful. I’ll make an appointment with a midwife.”
“Sammy...” He took a sharp breath. “I know I can’t do this for you. And that’s what kills me. I have to let you take the risk and go through the pain. And I’ll... I’ll trust you to do it how you see best.”
Her heart suddenly felt too large, and sore along with it. “Ryder...”
“I know you’re strong,” he said.
“I never thought you didn’t.”
She stretched up and kissed him on the cheek. They would be all right.
They had to be.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
THERE WERE CRYSTALS hanging in the window, and Ryder really would have given anything to be sitting anywhere else. It was like Sammy’s chakras had exploded all over the room. Which, he supposed, was why his wife looked so giddy to be sitting there in the presence of the midwife, who had long gray hair and a calming demeanor.
“You don’t put crystals on the baby, do you?” Ryder asked.
“No,” the woman, who was in fact named Sequoia, said. “I can put crystals on the mother, if she likes. And you can have some, too.”
He sensed a faint hint of sarcasm in that.
“I’m good.”
He had a feeling Sequoia wasn’t shocked by his rejection. Everything in here looked airy-fairy hippie-dippie dipped in incense and essential oils, and he could feel himself standing out against it all, in