Scared as hell.”
“Well, she’s gone. So I can’t ask her.”
That seemed to make Logan shut up. But Ryder wasn’t sure he liked that any better. Because in some ways it was better if his friend was being relentless. Because at least then the other man had some hope, or an idea. Ryder himself didn’t have either.
“Well?” Ryder pressed.
“No,” Logan said. “You have a point. She’s not here. And you know what? I think that’s the whole point. She’s going to have to solve this on her own, and you can’t do it for her.”
“Well, I don’t like that at all.”
“Of course you don’t,” Logan said. “You’re a fixer who wants to fix everything for everyone. But that’s exactly what she’s worried about. That you’re out there married to her just because you want to fix her problems.”
“I love her so much I feel sick. That’s why I married her. It’s not martyrdom or sacrifice or anything like it.”
“Sure. But she doesn’t believe that. And you’re going to have to accept the fact that you’re not going to be able to make her. She’s going to have to figure it out herself. She’s going to have to trust you.”
“And if she never does?”
“I think she will. She trusted you enough back when she was a teenager.”
“Well, it was me or her old man. I suppose I seemed like the safer bet.”
“Sure. Maybe. Though if you think about it, she had no reason to believe that you would be any less dangerous. She didn’t know you. And she was taking her chances on her father finding out that she was meeting with you and getting angry with her. This place was enough for her to take that risk. You were enough. You’re just going to have to trust that she thinks so again. And the best thing you can do is find a way to show her that you’re living a life that you chose.”
“But I’m not,” he said. “I’m living one without her. And it’s terrible. It’s damned terrible.”
“Sure. Except you’re still here. You’re still right where you were when your parents died. You didn’t choose that. And you chose to stick this out, to take care of us. But now you’re still here.”
“And what would you like me to do?”
“Move on.”
He could only stare at Logan, because he couldn’t even begin to fathom moving on.
“Sorry, but it’s the one thing you’ve never really done. Not from her necessarily, but from the past. Figure out what you want. Choose the life that you want. Figure out what kind of life you want to live. And show her that you’re not just here out of habit. That you’re not with her out of habit, or a sense of obligation.”
“Can’t I just chase her down and kidnap her and lock her in my bedroom until she sees sense?”
He was only a little bit joking.
Honestly, it sounded more sensible to him. More certain than this relaxed stuff that Logan was suggesting. He wanted to go after her. He wanted to fix it. And he couldn’t understand why that bothered her so much. So what if he felt a sense of obligation? That was...
Didn’t she understand that that was love to him?
“No,” Logan said. “You can’t. Because you need to let her figure some things out on her own. She’s strong, but she’s been in your pocket all this time. She healed with you, around you. So stand apart for a minute. See where it gets you.”
“Awfully confident,” Ryder said.
“Yeah,” Logan said. “I am. Because I know you both. And because I think this place has a little bit of magic in it.”
“I don’t know,” Ryder said. “I always thought it was kind of...the opposite of that. Not a whole lot of magic, mostly a bit of grief and irony. Hope Springs. I tell you what. It made me want to pick the names of things a lot more carefully. Like it was setting us up for disaster.”
“That’s not how I took it. It’s just that even when things are hard... Well, there’s still hope, isn’t there?”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Well, if there’s not hope, what is there? Maybe think about that. And see where it takes you.”
Ryder had no idea what to make of any of that, because it felt to him like his hope had up and driven off along with Sammy Marshall.
* * *
SAMMY WAS A COWARD. And she was sneaking around in Gold Valley like the coward that she was. She