had gotten as far as Copper Ridge, spent the day at one of the craft fairs there, and had come right back home.
She was currently camped out in the spot that she had used to look down on Hope Springs Ranch when she was a teenager.
And now she was sneaking around in town, restocking her jewelry at the various places on Main Street and in general feeling like a wounded martyr.
She knew that Ryder wouldn’t see it that way. That he was currently probably feeling like the martyr. And she understood that. She did. But she was doing them both a favor.
Of course, right now that favor felt like a giant knife wound to her heart. But whatever.
She was just slipping out of Willow Creek when she ran square into Iris.
One of the last people on earth that she wanted to see.
Iris would be furious with her. Absolutely furious. And Sammy expected all kinds of angry words to flow from her friend’s mouth.
But instead Iris just stared, and then her eyes filled with tears.
“What are you...”
“Are you okay?” Iris asked.
Sammy took a breath that felt sharp and jagged, sharper than the words that she had expected from her sister-in-law.
“What do you mean am I okay?”
“I’m worried about you. You just disappeared. And you left him.”
“I know,” she said. “And I understand that means I left the family...”
“You didn’t leave the family, you fool. Is that what you think? That it would be that easy? We all feel cut in half, Sammy. Logan, Iris, Pansy and myself. We all feel torn. We love you both. And I hate seeing him like that, but I know that you didn’t do it for fun.”
“Well, no. But...”
“What’s wrong? I mean, I know he can be difficult but...”
“That’s not it,” Sammy said. “He has taken care of us, all of us, for way too long. And I couldn’t... I couldn’t stand feeling like I trapped him into it.”
Iris simply stared at her. “Really? That’s it?”
“Yes,” Sammy said, her eyes filling.
“He’s thirty-five years old,” Iris said. “He chose his life.”
“He didn’t.”
“I assure you that he did. Absolutely and completely. That man is far too stubborn to ever be railroaded into anything. I know that what he did for us when he was younger was out of duty, but this... The way that he works the ranch now, it’s not. It isn’t. He is absolutely everything that he’s chosen to be.”
“Well, I don’t want him to choose to keep on taking care of me if there’s something else that he wants.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“What?”
“I mean, I think that you believe you, but I don’t think that’s really the problem. I think that you are scared. And you’re making it about him.”
“I’m not.”
“You are. You were asking me if I disowned you in the first thirty seconds of seeing me. Of course you’re scared. And I get it. Anyone who’s lived the life that we have would be. But I’m still here. Choosing to care for you. That’s the thing. We were always making choices. We were never forced into anything. And neither was he. The only thing we didn’t choose was losing our parents. The one thing you didn’t choose was having the father you had. But we chose each other. We damn well did. Why do you get to decide that his continuing to choose you isn’t real?”
“I appreciate where you’re coming from. I really do. I just... I can’t.”
“You’re just afraid. And there’s nothing wrong with being afraid. Until you let it decide what you’re going to do.”
“I can’t take a lecture from you, Iris. Not seriously. You know I love you, but you’ve never gone anywhere or done anything.”
“Maybe,” Iris said, her voice measured. Even still, Iris refused to be angry. “Maybe that’s true. But I don’t pretend to be anything else. You do. You ran around lecturing and giving advice. You tell other people to be brave when you have no intention of doing it yourself. Again, I love you. But let’s stop pretending that you’re not running scared.”
She began to walk away, and then she stopped. “And I still love you, by the way. You can’t push me away. Sorry, I’m not going to let you make yourself safe by trying to get rid of all the people in your life who love you. And you know what? I don’t think Ryder is going to let you do it, either.”
And when she was gone, Sammy could only stand there. Frozen. And even