He looks at me, suddenly serious. ‘With different timing, in a different life, I think we could have been good together.’
‘Yes.’ Unexpected tears prickle behind my eyes.
‘I’m glad I’m not imagining it,’ Matt says.
‘No, you’re not.’ I can’t tell him the reason why this has to work out with Shelby. There’s not just me to consider. This is more than us. This is about the baby, Lucas, the farm.
He steps forward and, tentatively, takes me into his arms. We hold each other tightly.
‘Sometimes the universe is an awkward bugger,’ Matt whispers against my hair.
I couldn’t agree more.
We break away and, without another word, he marches away across the yard. I stand and watch and wonder what on earth to think.
Chapter Sixty-One
At two o’clock the crowds flood in. I think the whole of the village has turned out to support us and I couldn’t be more grateful. Soon the yard is filled with happy people buying wreaths and mulled wine or cider. The air is heavy with the scent of Christmas – cinnamon, cloves, citrus from the wine and fresh pine from our humungous tree.
Bev has put a speaker out and Christmas songs drift over us. The place is full of festive love. All the kids are in costume, including our own, and there’s a prize for the best outfit. Most are dressed as elves or something similarly Christmassy – though Lottie and Erin look a little more sexy than perhaps elves and young teen girls should. Seb is in a reindeer onesie and Asha has come as a Christmas tree which is severely restricting his movement. Someone has come as a Stormtrooper, but I haven’t yet had the chance to find out who. I expect they’re one of ours. The students who can cope with it are, with supervision, going round with collection buckets or are helping out on the stalls
The only person missing is Shelby. I glance at my watch – as I have done a dozen times in the last five minutes. He will be here. I know he will.
Bev appears at my shoulder. ‘Don’t stress,’ she instructs. ‘Have a glass of something, mingle.’
I glance down at my stomach to remind her that anything strong is off the agenda.
‘Non-alcoholic,’ she adds. ‘Just chill. Be the face of Hope Farm. Show the world – or at least the village – how wonderful we are.’
‘Shelby’s not here.’
‘I know, but we can manage without him. I didn’t put him on the posters when he buggered off to Brummieland, so it will be an extra surprise if he does rock up. Besides, the Hot Mayor is here. What more could we want? Two hotties might be overload.’
‘Yeah,’ I agree distractedly, while my eyes search him out.
Bev’s eyes, however, narrow. ‘Is everything all right between you two?’
‘Why wouldn’t it be?’
‘You tell me, Mols.’ Nothing slides past my friend.
‘He’s bringing a date today and I feel weird about it.’
‘Hmm,’ Bev says. ‘Would you like to unpack that emotion?’
‘Not now. I like him,’ I say. ‘That’s all.’
‘It’s understandable. He’s hot stuff and he’s here for you, for all of us.’
I let out a weary huff of breath.
‘It will be better when Shelby’s back. His head is up his own panto arse at the mo. Wait until he hears your news.’
I wish I had Bev’s confidence in my own relationship.
She takes my hand and pulls me to the spiced cider stall and grabs a paper cup filled with warm, delicious-smelling apple juice. ‘Get this down your neck and enjoy.’
‘Heard and understood,’ I say as, obediently, I drink it down. It warms me to my toes. ‘I could get to like this.’
She looks round. ‘Have you seen how many people have turned up? This is a roaring success. Relax and enjoy it.’
Grinning at her, I say, ‘I will, and thank you, Bev. This is all down to you.’
She grabs a more potent cider for herself and knocks her paper cup against mine. ‘To us,’ she toasts. ‘We are flipping BRILLIANT!’
‘We are,’ I agree.
At that moment, I see Christian Lee heading across the yard to us. He’s looking very festive and rather rotund in a glittery and seriously sequined red Santa outfit. A white beard flows down to rest on his pillowy tummy and is decorated with stars. He has matching red nails and lips. Quite possibly false eyelashes. Our borrowed Santa outfit would clearly have been found wanting.
He comes and kisses us both.
‘You look fabulous.’
‘And you look positively glowing,’ he says to me at which I flush.