register today.’ I’m so grateful that Lucas is on top of it. Ten kids is a full house for us and a lot to handle. We need the income, but I like to keep the numbers low so that everyone gets the personal attention they need. We have our regulars and I’d like to say that makes life easier, but you never can tell what the day is going to throw up. If they all decide to kick off at once, then it’s mayhem.
We have some students for a few days; a couple are here all week. Some are long-term and have good council funding. Others come and go or are with us just briefly. We try to cater for as many needs as possible with the few people we have. The funding for Lucas’s apprenticeship is provided by his dad – something that irks him. But then a lot of things irk Lucas, especially if his father is involved.
‘You’re doing a great job.’ Whenever I look at Lucas, my heart squeezes. As I’ve said, he’s not my boy, but I could not love him more. ‘Can I hug you?’
He sighs. ‘Do you have to?’
‘I’d like to,’ I venture.
‘If you must.’ With a great show of reluctance, he surrenders to my embrace. Then he lingers a little longer than he needs to, which makes me smile. Sixteen-year-old boys need cuddles as much as anyone, even though they pretend they don’t. I hold his skinny, all-angles body tightly.
‘Enough,’ he says. ‘You’re breaking my ribs now.’ Lucas peels himself away from me and sets off towards the barn with a casual wave. ‘Laters.’
‘See you at lunch,’ I shout as he goes. ‘Chickpea curry.’
‘Be still my beating heart,’ he shouts back.
Watching him walk away, my chest fills with pride. I’m pleased to tell you that Lucas is in a good place. Or as good a place as a slightly surly, overly sensitive, passive-aggressive teenager with authority issues can be.
We’ve been at our new home – which should rightly be known as Hope Farm Two – since the end of summer. As I said, we were ousted from our previous land due to that terrible thing called ‘progress’ when our troubled children and misfit animals were kicked out of the way in favour of HS2. Even now I can’t bring myself to talk to you about it without muttering darkly and using my worst swear words. The diggers rolled in as we moved out and I haven’t been able to go back and look at the scars they will have created on the beautiful landscape. They’ve destroyed ancient woodland and untrammelled countryside, but commuters will soon be able to get from and on to Birmingham twenty minutes quicker, so that’s all right then. That sound is the gnashing of my teeth.
Still, silver linings and all that, this place is amazing. When I feared that, literally, all hope was lost, Shelby stepped in and found us this fantastic replacement. Thanks to him, we have a beautiful slice of Buckinghamshire countryside which we now call home and, dare I say, it’s probably better suited for our purposes than our previous home.
We need somewhere tranquil and private, a sanctuary away from the prying eyes and interference of neighbours. Our kids need peace and quiet while they try to overcome their individual challenges. We attempt to cater for all needs and the kids learn through interacting with our animals. Our daily activities teach them teamwork and allow them to flourish at their own pace in a safe environment. Some haven’t had the best start in life or have come from chaotic backgrounds. They need stability and a place to grow.
The downside of providing this idyll is that it all costs – handsomely – and we’re a teeny-tiny charity always struggling for funds. This new farm was only made possible by our patron and my other half, Shelby Dacre, but we need to raise the money to keep it going.
As I said, at the grand age of thirty-eight I fell in love for the very first time with someone who – given his reputation for dating ludicrously young and beautiful starlets – I’m still astonished even looked my way. Some days, I have to pinch myself to check that Shelby’s actually here and in my life. Except, at the moment, he isn’t. Well, not very much. The soap is filmed every weekday and is, more often than not, starting early and finishing late. Recently there have been a lot