faces. After that, I supervise them cleaning their brushes. Matt tidies away too and when we’re done, we all walk down to the yard.
‘Aurora’s picking me up,’ Lucas says.
‘OK.’ I don’t want to see her, to have that awkward conversation, so I’ll try to make myself scarce. ‘Take your key to the van. I’m hoping to go up to the hospital later and might be out when you come home.’
‘I can take you,’ Matt say. ‘And Bev, if she’d like a lift. I know how tiring it can be going back and forth for hospital visits.’
‘That would be very kind of you. Can I offer you some supper as a thank you?’
‘As long as you wouldn’t mind me jumping in your shower? I’ve got clean clothes and stuff in the back of my car.’
‘That’s fine.’
So we see the kids off for the day and I keep out of the way when Aurora drives up in her car and toots her horn. Lucas rushes out. I think he’s as keen to keep her away from me as I am to avoid seeing her. I feel cross that, in this day and age where it’s so easy to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, they have both been so irresponsible.
Matt gets his clothes from the car and I find him some clean towels before showing him how my shower works. Then I go to find something for supper. I decide to have a night off being vegan – it feels too much like hard work – and opt for knocking together some omelettes. So I quickly nip out to the tea room to pinch some cheese from Bev’s stash in the kitchen.
While I’m cracking eggs, I wedge the phone to my ear and call Bev. ‘Matt’s still here and we’re going to come and collect you to take you to the hospital once we’ve had a bite to eat.’
‘That’s great. It feels like I’ve only just got home from visiting this afternoon and it’s time to go back. I’m so glad not to be going alone.’
‘How’s Alan doing?’
‘He’s fine,’ she says. ‘Another couple of days and they think he’ll be OK to come out.’
‘Good. We’ll pick you up about seven. See you then.’
We both hang up as Matt comes out of the bathroom in fresh clothes, rubbing his damp hair in a towel. Some of his ‘stuff’ must have involved aftershave as he smells of lemon, jasmine and musky amber.
‘I’ll swap with you and then I’ll make us cheese omelettes. Does that suit?’
‘I can do them while you shower,’ he says. ‘I’m a man of many talents.’
I grin at him. ‘I’m beginning to realise that.’
So I shower, standing under the hot water and letting it pour over me. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, but it fails to soothe me. When I come out, Matt continues making the omelettes – really excellent ones – and my stomach unknots slightly. While we eat, I tell him Lucas’s news.
‘Aurora is pregnant and he’s thrilled.’ I shake my head, still perplexed. ‘Me, less so. They’ve only been together for five minutes and I’m worried sick for them both. His dad will be beyond furious.’ And, I hope that I’m wrong, but I can’t help feeling that I’ll be the one picking up the pieces.
‘That’s tough,’ Matt says. ‘I’d find the thought of fatherhood daunting even at my age. They’re both so young.’
‘It’s because they’re young they have no idea what any of this means. I’m dreading telling Shelby. I’ll have to pick my moment.’
‘You’ll go up to Birmingham?’
‘Lucas and I are both due to go up there on Wednesday to see him in his pantomime.’ Though I feel as if my entire life is like one, right now. ‘It’ll depend on Bev being able to babysit the farm, and I don’t want to put that on her at the moment. I can leave the animals for an hour or two, but not for any longer.’
‘I’m happy to stand in,’ Matt says without hesitation.
‘I couldn’t ask. You’ve done so much already.’
‘Really, it’s not a problem. I love being here.’
‘Thank you.’ Then I cry and it’s like a floodgate has opened. I cry for me, for Lucas, for the baby they’re bringing into the world, for Shelby, for Alan in the hospital and for a whole host of other things that I can’t even articulate.
Matt holds me gently and passes me a piece of kitchen roll that was serving as a napkin. ‘It will all come right,’ he