switch hair products. Annoyed with my uncooperative hair, I sit in the fancy armchair which looks like it belongs in Buckingham Palace, practicing my royal poses until Kate questions me.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Practicing my royal wave.”
“Why?”
“This chair… it’s fit for a royal.”
She lets out a small laugh and calls me a fruit loop before burying herself in her phone. Bored waiting, my mind goes back to the charity ball when all this unfolded. Emma and I had no idea who this guy was and how he was able to bring Charlie’s world to a complete standstill.
“So, that was weird, right?” I asked Emma.
“Uh, yeah, Charlie is never shy or quiet around guys, and did you see his eyes?”
“Oh, honey, that wasn’t the only thing I saw.”
Emma laughed as I continued, “Okay, so I’ve never heard her mention him. Have you?”
“No, but I haven’t known her as long as you, and she’s like your BFF,” she pointed out.
“True… but it’s like this guy had a spell on her, you know. Like everything about her changed when he stood in front of her. We need a plan.”
“A plan for what?” Emma asked worriedly.
“A plan to get these two together.”
“Eric, she’s with Julian.”
“So what! Hugh dates five girls at a time. Once he had nineteen!”
“Okay, but Charlie is not Hugh Hefner, thank God, and well, maybe if they were together, it ended for a reason. We shouldn’t meddle in her affairs.”
“Oh, stop being a party pooper. Wake up and smell the jizz. He is Lex Edwards, billionaire CEO, more gorgeous than… God. Look, I’ll say it… more gorgeous than David Beckham.”
“Eric, how dare you say that.” She chuckled. “Okay, you have a point, he is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, but please do not ask me to smell the jizz again.”
“Deal. Now, where do we start…”
So, this is how it all began. I’m Billionaire Matchmaker, and with my talent, I could start my own reality television show.
When Lex asked me some questions at the bar, I knew he was interested, so naturally, I was going to get Charlie to After Dark. I had no idea how to get rid of Julian, but thank God, he was caught up with something. Not that I didn’t like him. I mean Christian Bale lookalike, I was foaming at the pants looking at him. I was goddamn jealous of Miss Mason’s male followers, and for once, all the hot guys were straight.
A week later, everything started to unfold. She was distant, on edge, extremely high-strung. She kept trying to bury herself in work but failed miserably. I knew she wouldn’t talk, the stubborn bitch, so I decided we needed some Eric and Charlie pamper time.
I sat there in the chair as the lady filed my nails. It was Charlie’s birthday, and we were having a day of pampering. After spending a day on Fifth Avenue maxing out my three credit cards, we decided to have a light lunch followed by manis and pedis at our local salon. I was flicking through a back issue of US Weekly as Charlie rambled on and on about how she busted Nikki and Rocky in Nikki’s office two weeks ago. I dropped the magazine in the water as Charlie broke the news of the last part. The manicurist cursed me in her language, and all the manicurists turned to face me, shaking their heads. I couldn’t help but crack up laughing. Geez, I’ll replace the three-dollar back issue with a pregnant Angelina Jolie on the front.
“Charlie, are you fucking serious?” I started coughing as the laughing became uncontrollable. The manicurist was annoyed with both of us as we couldn’t hold still. She eventually stabbed me with the filer which calmed me the hell down.
“Sorry,” Charlie apologized to the manicurist. “I’m not lying. I mean, why is it always me? Why do I always have to catch them? And the worst part is that they are never embarrassed! They just say sorry, then carry on.”
I laughed, struggling to get my words out. “Charlie, please, like you can talk.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked nervously.
“Um, like, hello… Lex rocking up to your office on Monday night. You don’t think I believe nothing happened, right?”
“I don’t know… I mean nothing happened,” she stammered.
“So, how do you explain a cufflink with the initials LE engraved on it that was lying on the floor underneath your desk?”
“Uh, he was… um, fixing my chair.”
“More like slurping on your lady door.”
“Eww, E, did