for me to take a seat on the chair sitting in the middle of the room. I get it, striptease. I can handle this. It won’t be my first, but it will be my fucking last. The girls mean nothing, tits in my face do nothing for me unless there are Charlotte’s.
Eric places a blindfold on me. He gets some sort of pleasure from doing it. In your dreams, Eric. It becomes pitch black, and I try to focus on the shuffling around me. The music starts, ‘The Thong Song,’ and I sense a body close to me and feel a slight brush against my leg. Her fingertips barely scrape along my thigh, stopping just below my dick. I want to laugh, it’s a pathetic act to turn me on.
Her warm, minty breath lingers near my neck followed by her meager attempt to rub her pussy against my cock. In the distance amid the beat of the music, I hear snickering, and I swear I hear Eric say, “This is disturbingly wrong on so many levels.”
The music is close to finishing, and as a finale, she grazes her teeth along the outside of my pants against my dick. Without control, I feel a slight stir. What the fuck? I wasn’t turned on, but now I’m conscious of the familiar feeling, the tingling throb impossible to ignore.
No. No. No!
“Take it off! Lex has a boner,” Eric shouts with such enthusiasm.
Slowly, Eric undoes the blindfold, and I almost fall off my chair, the shock of the granny standing in front of me in a purple corset and thong enough to make me dry heave.
Everyone in the room breaks out laughing, and I’m unable to find the hilarity in this, given the huge wood I’m sporting. Seriously, why the fuck am I turned on? And why the fuck won’t it go down?
The granny winks at me, her false teeth visible. Oh fuck, the false teeth grazed my dick. I’m gonna beat the shit out of Rocky. I turn to look at him, his face cringing. Why the fuck is he so mortified? He booked the granny escort to strip for me!
I can hear BJ in the back shouting, “Get yer gums around my plums.”
“That was hilarious!” Eric roars, slapping his hand on his leg, unable to contain himself. The granny walks away, saying goodbye to everyone, her saggy ass tainting my poor brain. There are just some things that can never be unseen. Rocky is still looking odd, something’s wrong. He isn’t taking as much pleasure in watching me suffer as I expected he would.
“What’s wrong with you?” I ask him.
“Dude, did you spike my drink?”
“What? No, why?” My eyes divert to his pants where a huge boner is sticking out. “Oh…”
“Fuck, then what the hell?”
It clicks, and as I stand there, I watch the other men noticing they all have a similar expression. BJ is happily getting a dance from two girls in the corner, so his wood is expected, and the same goes for Uncle Hank. Elijah and Finn keep adjusting their pants, squirming uncomfortably and attempting to avoid eye contact with the girls who dance around them. My dad is at the bar with Mark, both of them with their legs crossed, having what looks like an incredibly uncomfortable conversation. Eric stands next to us as quiet as a church mouse, his face barely able to hide the mischievous grin, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, he’s the reason why there’s enough blood pumping on this yacht to fuck all the women of America.
Viagra.
“What’s up, guys? Or should I say, who’s up?” Eric bursts out laughing.
“You’re dead meat, Kennedy,” Rocky threatens
“All I can say is thank God! For a second, I thought the granny gave me that boner.” I breathe a sigh of relief, unable to contain myself for minutes on end.
***
I walk through the rose bush, cussing at the thorns scratching my arm until Rocky turns to look at me, warning me to shut the fuck up and quit wailing like a baby.
We left the yacht, boners and all, with an attempt to spy on the women.
Elijah declines giving us a lecture about trusting the woman you love. The rest head back to the hotel to get ready for the ceremony. We still have two hours, plenty of time to get in a sneak peek.
We run behind a tree and dart for the playhouse. The party is at Finn’s place, and he knows exactly where we