desperate girl inside me want to fix him? I want that so much it’s sickening. I’m allowing myself to stay in this horrible relationship all while walking away is an option.
The fact that I’m still here says how weak I’ve become. I love him so damn much, even as he finds his pleasure in others, I still want to be the one he comes home to.
I want to be the only one.
Will I break before that happens again?
Why won’t I walk away?
After my phone chirps several times, I set my bud down to see what the rush is. I need you to come home right now. I know you still have four hours, but it’s important.
Toby.
Of course, something is wrong.
Please.
I already called Sanje, he’s covering.
Sanje is our other chef. When Toby and I left Hawthorn and Hollow Ridge behind, we traveled the world together. We grew Hayes Corp and the Casa Conglomerate. We went French cuisine and Italian, all the way to Thai and Korean. We didn’t stop the expansion until we had to come back once again to truly change the Hollow Hills’ Mi Casa. We hired Sanje and his protege Dominique. They’ve been the best decision we’ve ever made, and when I’m not feeling like working, which tends to be every other day, Sanje takes over. Once I’m gone, he can have full rein. I’m done being here and crumpling beneath all the weight.
I read over the texts two more times, wondering what he could possibly need. The desperation in the texts makes me feel so many things I’ve avoided. He needs me. It’s probably nothing important, but either way, the feeling is still there. After taking another huge inhale before putting out the blunt, I tuck it into my little box.
I’m heading up the elevator in the next ten minutes. Working where you live has its benefits, like being less than five minutes away.
Using my penthouse card, I go the extra ten floors no one but the owners have access to. The metal makes noises as it goes up, and not even the shitty music can dull my nerves. I’m always on edge when it comes to this man.
Scanning inside our home, I don’t see him. It’s odd, but I don’t worry too much. When he’s not in our room, an unsettling feeling arouses. But it’s when I go to our office that my heart stops entirely.
Inside the room is my father, and besides him... my mother.
“Mom?” The soft voice that trickles out of me has me unnerved.
“Fix this, Tobias. Now.”
It’s all my father says before looking at me with an inexplicable emotion. Then he’s leaving, all while my mom, who’s been missing for nine years, stands in front of me.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Present
Toby
This should freak me out. That my wife looks as if she’s about to pass out, but I remain calm. One of us has to. Before she came in, her father and I had a chat. More like he threatened me once more.
The truth of the matter is, he hid Lianna from Joey all these years.
Like me, she’s an addict.
The difference between us, her addiction is meth while mine is whiskey.
She abandoned my wife, tore her to shreds. All for a craving.
I may be a loser that drinks his sorry existence away, but leaving Joey isn’t something I can do. Whether our hatred outshines our love, it keeps me grounded.
At first, it didn’t. I’d disappear for days at a time. I even lied about it being because of other women, but I’d binge-drink and end up in the hospital.
Gene always came. Though my mother keeps me at a distance, my stepfather is there for me. He’s forgiven me for what Lo and I did. He loves me still.
Mom sticks to her favorite son, just like she always has.
The only thing we’ve ever had in common was the bottle. Isn’t that right, Ma? You hug it and I grapple it. You married yourself to the way it made you feel. I divorced myself of feelings so I could drink.
Why did you pass your addiction onto me?
Why did you let me get wasted as a child?
Why did you fucking suck?
My resentment rises as I watch my wife silently fall apart while her doped up mother hasn’t moved from her spot. She hugs herself and sways a bit, making my blood boil. How could Clay bring her here, expect me to fix this, and then walk the fuck away when he knows her mother’s a soft spot for Joey?