I’ve already started interviewing for two servers to cover your shifts on the floor, and of course Brent and I are fine running things here.”
“You started interviewing already?” I blink in surprise. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“Well, it was right after your surgery, so I figured you didn’t want to be bothered.”
Irritation stabs me. “My having cancer doesn’t mean I’m no longer a partner, Allie.”
“I know that.” She turns to face me, a deep crease appearing between her eyebrows. “And I want you to stay involved as much as possible. But what if you have another panic attack or get sick in the middle of the café…or worse, during a birthday party? We can’t risk upsetting customers, much less a bunch of children.”
I don’t know what to say. Allie sighs, a distressed expression appearing in her eyes.
“I know that sounds harsh,” she admits, “but we’ve had some hiccups in the past that we really had to work to overcome. And when you and Dean were in Paris, Brent and I were able to both raise Wonderland’s profits and expand our customer base. We want to stay on that trajectory.”
I sit back, torn between a feeling of hurt and the sense that Allie is right. Especially since the “hiccups” she’s referring to—a disastrous grand opening celebration and a five-year-old’s birthday party gone wrong—happened because of me. Not to mention my panic attack probably upset the customers who witnessed it, even if they were understanding and concerned.
Still…
“I can’t stay away from the café for the next six months, Allie,” I say.
She shakes her head, her expression worried. “You don’t even know if you’ll be able to work.”
“Well, I need to believe I can,” I say. “Plenty of people work during chemo. There’s no reason I can’t be one of them. Allie, you know how much I love the café. I have to work.”
“Did your doctor say you could?”
“He said it was up to me and how I felt.”
“So why don’t you wait and see?” Allie asks reasonably. “You can certainly do work from home, like payroll, budget, scheduling. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here.”
I sit back and look at her, remembering the day when I first walked into her bookstore, the Happy Booker, and almost peed my pants when she jumped out at me in a scary apple-tree costume, yelling, “Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!”
And so a friendship was born.
“Is it because I’m going to lose my hair?” I finally ask. “Are you worried the customers will react badly if I don’t wear a wig, or even if I do and they still realize I’m sick?”
Her momentary lack of a response tells me all I need to know. I start to get up.
“Liv, wait.” Allie puts her hand out. “I don’t want to be a bitch, really. But this café is all about fun and fantasy, right? So if our customers, especially the kids, get upset by seeing that you’re sick… I don’t want to risk it.”
“Well, I guess I should be glad that our customers matter so much to you,” I remark.
“You matter to me too. Do you really think it’s a good idea for you to be around so many kids and working in a café, no less, when you’re immuno-suppressed? In the middle of cold and flu season?”
“I know how to be careful. And I don’t have to spend my entire shift on the floor.”
“What does Dean have to say about you interacting with customers and children during chemo?”
“I…well, I haven’t really discussed it with him,” I admit.
“Maybe you should,” Allie suggests. “I’m sure he has a strong opinion about you putting yourself at risk.”
“That doesn’t make it his decision.”
“Liv.” She comes around the desk to hug me, though for the first time ever, I can’t bring myself to hug her back. “Fighting this disease is your priority right now. Minimizing exposure to germs is a huge part of that. Like I said, there’s plenty of work you can do from home, but wait and see how the chemo goes before you commit to anything, okay?”
I nod, detaching myself from her and going to the door. Worse than the idea of being “banished” from the café is the worry that I might feel so awful I can’t work at all, not even from home.
And I’m not surprised by Dean’s reaction later that evening when I tell him about my conversation with Allie.
“Your customers would just have to deal with it,”