is a good guy,” North says, tilting his head to the door. “You were right.”
I smile. “It’s hard to feel sorry for myself when I look at my family. I have so much. How can I not be grateful?”
“You can be grateful and human at the same time,” North says. “And it’s okay to shake your fist at the universe every now and then. The universe is tough. It can take some cursing.”
“Oh, I’ve done my fair share of that,” I admit. “Sometimes it feels good, too. Turns out I like being a bit of a bad-ass.”
He grins. “You remember when I told you once not to come back to Twelve Oaks too often?”
“I remember. You wanted this wounded baby bird to spread her wings, and you thought if she came flying crookedly back to Twelve Oaks, she would never leave. Never learn what she was made of.”
“Yeah.” North pats my shoulder. “You did good, Liv. Soared like an eagle.”
I extend my fist, and he bumps his against mine.
“And I thought you would never leave Twelve Oaks, but off you went to walk around the world,” I say. “What brought you back?”
He shrugs. “Always wanted to end up back home. That’s part of the reason you travel, I think. To go, but also to come back.”
I learned that too, before Dean and I left for Paris. I could go, happily, off on new adventures because I knew he and I would return to Mirror Lake.
But I also learned that life isn’t always about coming and going, leaving and returning. Sometimes, like now, it’s just about being.
A campfire burns at the heart of the Twelve Oaks commune, the flames leaping and dancing. I sit beside North, who is whittling slowly at a piece of wood, long shavings falling at his feet. One of the other residents is playing the guitar, and the sweet strains filter through the smoky air.
Dean brushes his hand over the back of my neck as he sits next to me, his warm thigh pressing against mine.
“Both sound asleep,” he says. “They were out within five minutes. Must be the fresh air.”
“We have a booth at the farmers’ market tomorrow morning, if you want to join us,” North says. “Then you could take the kids down to the beach. Supposed to be a beautiful day. There are some inflatable rings in the shed you could take with you.”
“We’ll do that, thanks.” I imagine digging my toes into the sand and feeling the sun on my bare legs.
“Come on.” Dean tugs on my hand. “Let’s get a good night’s sleep so we can be up early.”
We return to the main building. I check on Nicholas and Bella before going into the adjoining bedroom where Dean and I are staying.
He’s standing on the other side of the room, unbuttoning his shirt, and I’m struck with a memory of watching him do exactly that the moment before I made the easiest and truest confession of my life—“I love you.”
Oh, how I did. How I do.
He glances up. Our eyes meet as if we’re both remembering the same thing. And then he holds out his arms.
Light and love flood through me, infusing me with strength. I run across the room and leap into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and burying my face in his shoulder.
Our bodies fit together beautifully, my thinner curves still yielding to the hard planes of his chest, his body heat flowing into my soul. His arms close around me, strong as steel and warm as sunlight.
“Ah, my beauty,” he whispers. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’m here. I’ve always been here.”
“Don’t leave.”
“Never.”
We spend five days at Twelve Oaks, absorbing the sun and salt-laced air into our blood. We swim in the sea, work in the orchards and at the farmers’ market, explore downtown Santa Cruz, make s’mores on the campfire, and pick vegetables in the garden.
On the day of our departure, I watch Bella hug Asha, watch Nicholas laughing as he and North run after an escaped chicken. Dean loads Bella’s purple backpack into the trunk and slams it shut.
“Ready?” he asks me.
I turn to him, loving the way he moves closer, the way he knows without hesitation that I need him to touch me, that I want to touch him. He pulls me against his chest.
“There is no better present you could have given me.” I rub my cheek against his shirt, inhaling his scents of wind and shaving soap. “Thank you.”
“I see why you love it