for the Traveling Wonderland Café to host two weekend birthday parties. I don’t have time to worry about a cyst in my breast.
When I return downstairs, Dean has Nicholas dressed and ready for school, while Bella is finishing a bowl of oatmeal.
“Go get your shoes and coat on, buddy,” Dean tells Nicholas, ruffling his hair. “I’ll be right there.”
Nicholas holds out his arms and makes a zoom zoom noise as he flies toward the front door where his shoes and backpack are waiting. Dean shrugs into his suit jacket and picks up his car keys.
“Make the appointment, Liv,” he says. “Please.”
I don’t look at him, but I nod. I realize it’s better if I can see Dr. Nolan sooner rather than later. Then, when she tells me it’s nothing to worry about, we can put this whole situation behind us and get back to normal.
“All right,” I finally say. “But I don’t want you to come with me.”
With a sharp tug, he pulls on his winter peacoat.
I touch his arm. “I just don’t need either of us to make this into a bigger deal than it is.”
He pauses to look at me, reaching out to brush his hand over my hair. “All right. But call me afterward and tell me what Dr. Nolan says.”
I bend to help Nicholas zip up his jacket. I hug and kiss them both goodbye before getting Bella ready for preschool. When I return to the kitchen to get her lunchbox, I see a note stuck to the fridge:
The note makes me smile, and I tuck it into my purse as Bella and I head outside. It’s a cold, rainy day with an iron-colored sky arching overhead. Bella stomps around in her fire-engine-red boots, splashing through mud puddles and bending to look at worms.
“Come on, honey, let’s go.” I hold open the car door and watch as she runs toward me, her jacket hood already half-off.
I drop her off at preschool, then drive to the café. After locking myself in the office, I call Dr. Nolan’s number and explain the reason for my call to the receptionist. She asks me to hold for a minute.
“Mrs. West, we have a cancellation this afternoon,” she says when she comes back on the line. “Dr. Nolan would like to see you then. Can you be here at one-thirty?”
My heart stutters. I was expecting to make an appointment for a couple of weeks from now, and mostly just to appease Dean.
“I…yes, I’ll be there,” I tell the receptionist. “Thank you.”
I hang up and text Dean to find out if he can pick Bella up after school and take her to gymnastics. He responds: Yes. Call me right after the appt.
I toss the phone aside. His sense of urgency is annoying, especially since there’s nothing to worry about. And considering the number of times he’s resisted going to the doctor (“It’s just a cold, Liv, not the flu”), his insistence feels a bit hypocritical as well.
I struggle against the urge to do an internet search about breast lumps—I remember searching for “dizziness” a few years ago, after I’d gotten light-headed during a café shift. The resulting search led me to think I had everything from anemia to heart disease—when really it turned out I’d just forgotten to eat lunch.
I go to the front counter, where Allie is icing a tray of fresh éclairs and Archer is hunkered beneath the cold case with his toolbox, trying to locate and fix the source of a small leak.
“Allie, I need to leave half an hour early today,” I say. “I’ll finish payroll later tonight.”
“Sure, that’s fine. Brent’s coming in at two, so I might be able to get to it, depending on how busy we are.” Allie steps back to admire her handiwork on the éclairs. “Kid-related issue?”
“No, I…” A knot sticks in my throat. I shake my head. “Something just came up.”
I feel her glance at me, as if she senses I dodged the issue. Part of me wants to confide in her, knowing she’ll give me a bucketful of gentle reassurances.
Allie was the one who convinced me to take cooking classes in Paris, and she and I video-called and emailed on a weekly basis while I was abroad. A couple of years ago, Dean and I made a special trip back to Mirror Lake to attend her and Brent’s wedding. Not even an ocean’s distance has affected our rock-solid friendship.
But I don’t want to worry her for no reason. I pick up